DS having major trantrums

[purplepassion]

My 4yr4mth DS is having major trantrums esp at nursery he picks up chairs throws them across the room, throws toys, then hides under the table when is being told off HELP

How do the staff deal with him?
In these circumstances he needs to be removed from the situation and to have a calm adult sit with him for a while as he calms down. It's likely he won't be able to explain why he is behaving like this and it would be good for you and the staff to sit down together so you can pool ideas about what's going on in his little head. My children are older than this now - I hope you get other answeres from mums with children this age.

Sometimes getting children to do a drawing about how they feel can work, or showing you with dolls etc what happened to upset them. They can't give you a logical sequence though and that's why it's hard to understand what's going on with him. Is it a new behaviour? Have there been any big changes in his life?

this behaviour has been going on for a while,and there havent been any changes to his routine, i have sat down with the staff and we are going to try time out with him so far this week we havent needed it! Does really help that i work at the same nursery that he goes to

or rather it doesnt!!!

Is he getting frustrated because he has a problem communicating? I don't necessarily mean speech issues, or difficulties expressing himself clearly, but also having the opportunity to say his piece. My 4 yr old can get really wound up either by trying to have his say in a family of 5, or by dh saying "you will do x" and not hearing out his objections/reasons why he isn't doing as asked straight away. Usually if he is allowed to have his say the situation is defused.

its quite often when there is a change in what he has been doing ie coming in from outside, tidy up time, but equally it happens for no reason at all. He does seem frustrated and angry at times, just getting really worried what will happen when he starts school in Sept[hmmm]

I agree with lilochum. DS also gets very angrey if he feels he isn't being listened to.

How often does he go to nursery?

I agree with londonmamma that 'role playing' can really help you find out what kids of this age think; maybe you could ever so informally play 'nursery' with him, don't make a big thing of it, just make it a natural game...let him tell you who to be and who he'll be etc, and you might find out some things! DS (who is 4 but in reception) will sometimes play schools with me and it's fascinating seeing him go through the school routines in his games, and the little interactions he must be having with kids, dinner ladies, etc.

Some kids do find it difficult at nursery, specially the changing from activity to activity on someone else's orders! I'm sure he'll get used to it and there's plenty of time before school..

DS goes to nursery 3 full days a week,and has been there since he was 13mths old. Am going to try the role play this weekend to see if this sheds any light!! Hes back at nursery tomorrow for first time since last thurs,fingers crossed its not a bad day

Good luck PP. I really wouldn't worry though - all kids have tantrums, ALL of them, and if he is there 3 full days a week the odds are that they will happen there; specially as that's probably the most challenging life gets for him IYKWIM; he's having to share his day with many other kids and as he gets older he knows what he wants and doesn't want more.

He sounds absolutely fine....but if you can find out any specific things that set him off that can't hurt; whether the nursery would be able to change those things is the next step I guess!