Toddler SOS

[MummyFoxy]

I completely lost my rag with my nearly-3 DS tonight. His behaviour has been getting progressively worse over the last month or so. I know it's his age and it's most likely because he's going through a lot of big changes (potty training, transitioning up to preschool, getting used to having a sibling etc), but it's destroying me and my DH. Tonight he screamed the house down and kicked and hit me because he didn't want to get undressed for bedtime. Which then upset the 4m old baby who started uncontrollably sobbing. This morning he started throwing clothes around his room and screaming because he didn't want to get dressed. I've just come downstairs and burst into tears. I feel exhausted and so so guilty for shouting at him.

We've tried the 'thinking step'. We've tried explaining why mummy and daddy are sad. We've tried getting him to explain what he's done that has made us sad. I feel like nothing is working.

I don't really know what I want from this thread. Advice. A hand hold. Reassurance that it's not just me. It's been cathartic just writing it down to be honest.

It's definitely not just you.. I think you're right when you say there's been a lot of big changes recently and your Ds may be feeling a little insecure at the moment because of these. How do you deal with his tantrums? I can only tell you whats worked for me as a mum but it might help. With my 3yo I totally ignore tantrums, I tell her to go away until she can speak to me properly & she usually goes to her room has her tantrum then comes out when she's done. Have you tried a reward chart? Also in regards to refusal to get dressed I try and make it into a race/say we can go to the park etc quicker if you get ready. I also try to act as if I'm not bothered if she gets dressed or not i.e "okay well it's up to you if you dont get your t shirt on but that means we need to stay in/go to nursery in pyjamas" and stay calm throughout /leave the room. Basically what he wants us a reaction so whatever you can do to avoid that is perfect! Also try not to let him know you are sad etc as he wont understand but it may play on his mind and make things worse. Ultimately praise the good & ignore the bad. Hope this helps!

Mummy I literally could have written this today. I was sobbing by 8.30 am as he threw his poached egg across the room (he's underweight and we are under a dietician to get his weight up - which adds to the stress) . I'm Pregnant and just had enough- it was the tenth naughty and destructive thing he had done that morning. He's either
Gorgeous and adorable or absolutely terrible and the lack of middle ground can make
For some quite miserable times.

I don't have any answers but just to say I'm totally and utterly in it too with you and it's just really really hard sometimes!!!

Also struggling to get my 3 year old dressed at the moment. The second he is dressed he is all happy happy but we go through a lot of shouting, crying and kicking from him to get there! Did have to stop myself from laughing when he told me I was a big meanie!

Thank you all for your kind words and advice. We've had more of the same this morning, but I tried the tactic of sending him away to his room to have a tantrum and it did seem to help a bit, he got all the screaming out of his system (and out of earshot of the baby so she didn't start crying too) and then came back down when he had calmed down. My nerves are still frayed, but we'll get there. Bless my DH, he had to work late last night and could predict that bedtime would be stressful, so he came home armed with wine and a big bar of chocolate
I hope the rest of you are getting on ok with your tantruming little ones today!! I laughed out loud to you being called a 'meanie', that sounds exactly like my DS.