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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

I'm finding my 3 yr old DS easier to be around than my 6 yr old DD atm. Anyone else?

14 replies

DaphneHarvey · 11/04/2007 20:58

Just finding her really difficult to handle and its getting me down. She always has been the light of my life and my DS equally so. But I find his tantrums and whingeing more straightforward than her arsey attitude. I'm a bit worried that I'm spoiling them both tbh.

Have always looked forward to this stage when they were both beyond babyhood. So I'm a bit shocked to find myself struggling with more "I can't stand this for a minute longer" moments than before. Or perhaps I'm just looking back on their younger days when they were more compliant through rose-tinted glasses???????????????????????????

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Original poster

DaphneHarvey · 11/04/2007 21:33

Bumping - am I the only one?

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foxinsocks · 11/04/2007 21:35

my 6yr old dd is being a bit like this atm

she burst into tears this afternoon over something so trivial I had to pinch myself to stop myself laughing in front of her (hid my face by giving her a big cuddle!)

it feels like practice for the teenage years arrrghhhhh

Pinkchampagne · 11/04/2007 21:38

I find my 7 year old son tests my patience much more than his 4 year old brother, even though DS2 is pretty hard work.

arcticwind · 11/04/2007 21:44

Thank goodness it is not just me - my 5.10 yr old dd is a nightmare at the moment, whereas 4.4yr old is a dream!

She has no concept of consequences for her actions and loses her temper at the drop of a hat!!!

Original poster

DaphneHarvey · 11/04/2007 21:44

I find myself a bit surprised by it, tbh. Was really looking forward to the Easter holidays and seeing more of DD, she's so lovely. But ... yes, fox, there's behaviour I'd expect from a 12 year old, not a 6 year old! Today I had a horrible scene with her in Battersea Park Zoo because she was ignoring me! Could sense the other mums looking at me sideways and thinking I was a horrible old cow. And am not, usually, have the patience of a saint. Perhaps I expect too much of her because she's older and I do still have quite a lot of negotiating to do with the 3 year old. Poor little girl. Feeling sorry now she's in bed.

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GeeGee2 · 11/04/2007 21:51

I'm also finding my 6 yr old DD's 'attitude' very difficult. Every single request for her to do something is followed by some sort of backchat or attitude. My 4 year old is a breath of fresh air by comparison. It's difficult to like her sometimes as she some definate brattish tendencies. I spent last night looking at some of her baby and toddler pictures and cards she'd made for me just so that I could remember how sweet she can be. I assume it's just a phase - please tell me she'll grow out of it.

My 21 month old DS is very funny at the moment. He's just started the 'temper tantrum / frustration period' and 'no' is his favourite word - but it's so funny! I really struggle not to burst out laughing when he refuses to wear socks because they don't have footballs on them.

foxinsocks · 11/04/2007 21:58

I know nothing of childhood psychological development but dd and a lot of her friends are doing backchat by the bucketload at the moment. It's almost as if they are trying to assert their authority and become more independent (which is good in some ways I suppose!).

I have been trying to allocate dd some more responsibility as a result and that seems to work a bit (just simple things like letting her make her own breakfast) but I think she is battling (internally) between wanting to do more stuff herself but not wanting to do the stuff she doesn't like (like tidying up!).

nallydoolally · 11/04/2007 22:03

i chuckled when i read this. dd1 (5.5) backchats for britain.... doesn't listen, refuses to do things, begs for this and that, stomps off when doesn't get her own way... a real challenge. but if i step back and take a look at her she is still her gorgeous self just in a stroppy, hissy-fitty body.. definitely practising for teenage years, yes.
ds (3.11) is a different kettle of fish and still thinks i am the most wonderful being in the world... i know things will change when he gets to 'big school' in september.

Original poster

DaphneHarvey · 11/04/2007 22:04

Exactly GeeGee - I need someone to tell me she'll grow out of it. Or has her easy phase already passed by? I can sense her feeling that I favour her little brother, which of course I don't. But I don't get so wound up by him, tantrums and all.

Every day this holiday we've done something that revolves mainly around DD, including several days when DD has been out with her friends and their mums. DS just has to fit in and has far less formal "activity" in his life. Fewer friends, as you'd expect cos he's not at school yet, but he is easier to amuse and generally more content. She always seems to be looking for the next treat, the next outing, the next stimulation.

This is what I mean by spoiling her. Why can't she be happy to just potter around at home?

At the same time, I am so grumpy with her these days that I can't blame her for wanting to go out a lot. We just don't seem to get along very well ... much as you'd expect if your daughter was in her early teens! But at 6? Oh dear.

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GeeGee2 · 11/04/2007 22:05

Foxinsocks - thanks for the idea, I'll try the breakfast thing.

chocolattegirl · 11/04/2007 22:11

I thought I was the only one.... my DD is 6 going on 16. My 10yr old DN is much easier to be around at the moment.

Original poster

DaphneHarvey · 11/04/2007 22:33

Oh that's nice to hear about the 10 year old niece. Well, not nice in terms of how you're getting along with your DD, but nice to hear that girls can be good to be around at some point between the ages of 6 and teens, iyswim .

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chocolattegirl · 11/04/2007 23:28

DH - it is nice to have a nearly-teenage niece to spoil and talk about makeup with but I've had to laugh at how they've been treating each other all week, both competing to be top dog (until the older one gets tired of the younger one). It's as bad as sibling rivalry. They are both only children though which might explain it.

Must say that I knew children grow up quicker these days but this is faster than I anticipated with my LO.

CarofromWton · 21/04/2007 22:15

Daphne - hope you're still watching this thread. I've just read your posting (11 April 22.04) and gasped with amagement! I could have written the same thing myself! I have 2 DDs, one's 8 and the other is 3 and the 8 year old has been acting like a teenager for about 2 years. The 3 year old is a dream - really laid-back, lovely to be with, easy (in comparison to DD1). DD1 is very sensitive and has always demanded a lot of stimulation and activity and therefore, like in your case, social things have tended to revolve around her. DD2 is just happy to go along with it. We get lots of backchat and attitude from DD1 and she is a bit of a 'drama queen'. However, there has been some improvement recently and she seems to be returning to her former delightful self . We have been hard-line and taking away privilages for some time, so maybe it's paying off.

Getting back to the constant stimulation thing, DD1 is a high-achiever at school and I sometimes think that these children just need stimulation for their over-active brains! Is your DD really bright - may there be a connection there? Or have we just spoilt them rotten?

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