Advice on dealing with 3yo DS biting and hitting

[chocciechocface]

I need some advice on how to deal with my three year old DS. He won't think twice about hitting his sister (age 6), throwing a toy at her, and, recently, biting her. I use the naughty corner technique, which worked brilliantly with disciplining his sister at the same age, but he can't be bothered at all.

I am rarely in the room when it happens, so I don't know what is triggering it. I suspect his sister has probably done something. There usually seem to be toys involved in some way. Today, after a bite that has left a nasty bruise on her leg, I put him in the naughty corner and confiscated the toys. Again, he seems barely bothered.

I am pretty sure his sister is provoking it (hate to say that about any retaliation that involves violence, but...). I suspect she is either snatching toys away from him, or hanging into them, or something.

I also think his sister is far more interested in his punishment than she should be. Hanging around to watch him get into trouble, interjecting, ... so I send her out the room.

Can anyone suggest other discipline techniques I can try? DS starts nursery very soon and I really don't want this to continue with other kids as well.

Is it just with his sister? You might need to look at her behaviour if so and not his if she's taking toys etc? Any way of monitoring to see what the cause is?

It's a difficult one.

I think DD is doing something but I never actually witness it. It's hard to discipline her if I can't see what she's doing and she denies it.

However, I do see the bite marks.

I've tried talking to her and she gets upset as if I'm being very unfair assuming she's being naughty.

At 3 can he not tell you what has happened? Take him to one side and ask him why he hit or bit his sister, what was happening before he did it?