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Original poster

Suitable punishment for a 7 year old who

17 replies

Nightynight · 11/04/2007 08:44

went into my bedroom, opened my workbox, took out an antique handmade lace collar, and cut it in half because he wanted to tie it onto a hat?

he is a very immature 7 year old. I only have one lockable cupboard, which also happens to be the wardrobe where I keep my clothes, so very inconvenient to put padlocks on it.

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Original poster
Nightynight · 11/04/2007 08:46

locking the door also not practical as its a rented house, and dd shares the room

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NannyL · 11/04/2007 20:35

the fact that it was an antique is neitehr here nor there...he didnt know it. as far as he was concerend it was abit of lace that probaly would look nice on a hat

The answer (imo) is to make sure he knows that he cant cut up ANYTHING without asking you first

and keep sharp scissors out of reach

MerlinsBeard · 11/04/2007 20:39

did he know he wasn't allowed to touvhit or did he know it was there?

IMO a punishment should be given there and then either way

MerlinsBeard · 11/04/2007 20:39

touch it *

NannyL · 11/04/2007 20:40

I agree... its too late to punish now

assume he's in bed and its not fair to punish for it tomorrow.

It will be all forgotten by then

Original poster
Nightynight · 11/04/2007 22:00

Unfair to keep scissors away from the older ones as well though?

of course, the point is that he went digging in my stuff and destroyed some of it without asking me. It was hardly lying around. This afternoon, he took some of his sister's things, also out of her cupboard, and scattered them over the hill opposite our house.
My lectures on Yours and Mine are just going in one ear and out the other.
We have had the no cutting things conversation before as well. He is an intelligent child, but he seems to have a complete blind spot about what will annoy other people. dd2, aged 3, is better in this respect than he is.

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NannyL · 12/04/2007 18:32

yes keep scissors out of reach of any child who cant be trusted with them, reagrdless of their age

Original poster
Nightynight · 13/04/2007 07:20

Sharp scissors are standard school requirement here, so ds has a pair in his school bag, actually. 7 year olds are supposed to be trusted with them!

he is incredibly immature for his age generally. I have fined him from pocket money for losing his sister's things on the hill.

Keeping stuff out of reach is not so easy from a 7 year old, it would need a locked door. The children regularly comb the tops of cupboards.

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juuule · 13/04/2007 08:40

The school allow sharp scissors in school bag?
Any child carrying scissors would probably be excluded in schools near us. Scissors at primary are only used with supervision. I would supervise my 7yo using sharp scissors. You have already said you think your ds is immature so even more reason to be very aware of what he is up to in order to keep him safe.

Original poster
Nightynight · 13/04/2007 09:12

Sharp scissors are a requirement, as I said, so ds is used to using them at school, presumably not under 1-to-1 supervision.

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rantinghousewife · 13/04/2007 09:27

I'm with you on this nightynighty, when you're calm, I would have a chat with him. Say that you want to him to ask you if it's ok before he cuts something up. Unfortunately you may find you're repeating yourself but, I don't think keeping things under lock and key is a good way to help him understand that he can't vandalise other peoples property. Sometimes, I think a large part of parenting is repeating yourself ad infinitum.

gigglinggoblin · 13/04/2007 09:31

my 8yo recently wrecked one of his brothers things (luckily fixable but not the point, he didnt know that), so i told him he had to lend him one of his toys for a week. he is also pretty immature emotionally and took it very badly, lots of tears. we had a calm chat about how it feels to lose your things, and i explained he was going to get his thing back in a week but he felt really sad, how did he think his brother felt? have yet to see if it works, but it did have an impact. i dont think its ever too late to have a conversation about respecting other peoples property and in this case might be better that you didnt react straight away as i can imagine you must have been livid

Original poster
Nightynight · 13/04/2007 13:52

rantinghw, yes, thats it exactly. I could go on putting more and more things under lock and key, but he has got to learn.
I have now repeated myself ad infinitum about respecting other people's property.

gg, I like the idea of lending a toy for a set time. It is not quite so eye-for-an-eye as saying "how would you like it if your things got broken/lost?"

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BrownSuga · 13/04/2007 13:54

Can you take away his favourite things each time he does something like this? adding he can only get them back if he respects others property.

Original poster
Nightynight · 13/04/2007 14:13

he is a bit of a dramatist actually "Mummy hates me! Im going to put all my toys in the rubbish! Here, I dont want my Christmas present, can you put it in the rubbish for me?" etc. so I hope he wont go over the top when I confiscate something.

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Original poster
Nightynight · 13/04/2007 14:43

dd said she wanted to borrow his pocket money for a week.
ds said "that stupid Mumsnet! es gibt kein Spass ohne Taschengeld! Im not going to get my glasses fixed!" (he broke them this morning fighting with ds1)

he is currently eating an apple and ranting "I hate mumsnet! its only a computer. what can that stupid computer tell you?"

heigh ho such is life in the nightynight household.

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Original poster
Nightynight · 13/04/2007 14:44

we are off to the optician now

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