Pinching!

[Odd1out]

Today 18:59 Odd1out

Hello, I'm new here!
I have a little boy who is nearly 13 months old. In general he's such a happy little boy, he sleeps through most nights and has done since he was about 4 months old. He always laughing and smiling unless he's hungry or tired (so like me haha). I'm a sahm but I've been putting him in nursery one day a week from around 10 months to help socialise him with other children as he's our first and we don't have many kids around us. He's been great there, loves it! But today when I picked him up one of the nursery nurses pulled me aside and said she has had to remove him from the baby room due to him pinching the other kids, she said he has been very grabby. Made other kids cry so he's been with other adults in the bigger room. I explained he has been doing this for the past week (we've been on holiday so he missed nursery last week) and I told her when he does it we say no and put him down and take away his attention. (He does understand No means stop or seems to anyway) I apologised and said if it ever becomes and issue call me and I'll collect him but she assured me it wouldn't ever be that much of an issue. So really I'm just looking for advise on how to deal with this? It's really painful for starters! And he apparently did it to other children and made them cry! I feel terrible my son has hurt someone else's child but at the same time I feel awful that my son was kept with adults and not allowed to play and have fun. Help me mamas! X

Come on ladies I'm stressing out here haha, please can someone offer some advice xxx

It's a bit tricky really. Can you try inviting a friend over to your house and see how he behaves? playdates, or take him to a playgroup and see how he is? Does he display this behaviour with you/siblings at home?

If he does, the best thing to do is really to pay lots of attention to the other child. Make absolutely sure that the other child is fine. Then, turn to your DS and at eye level, repeat the word no, we never pinch/push/snatch. I am not sure distraction works as he will just see that if he pinches, he will be getting your attention! In your shoes, I would walk him (don't pick him up, this is also giving him too much positive attention) to a quiet place and repeat that we never, ever pinch.

It is often a sign that he wants attention, and the distraction technique you are using is giving him the positive attention. Instead, give attention to the other child.

Oh and I forgot to say, it's completely normal! Loads of kids go through this phase.

Thank you for replying :)
He's an only child, he does do it to me and to his dad and whenever he does we just put him down say no and try to ignore him. Problem is it's usually just me and my son in the day so he tends to do it to me and I can't "check I'm alright first" if you get me. I think I'll have to get him to some local play groups. It's just strange that he's started doing it in the last week or so, completely out of the blue. thanks again xxx

Also the nursery nurse told me it's not a problem just yet which kind of made me worry even more. I think she was trying to be nice but I suppose mums take these things to heart (well I do) x

Are you sure it's completely out of the blue though? Have you just been on holiday and he had your attention all the time? That might be why, not back to normal every day he may want to get your attention!

I know people say ignore bad behaviour, but often just a quick loud 'no' and (gently) push his hand away, accompanied by a 'look' (you know the look I am cross now) would work better. He is learning.

I'm a stay at home mum so he has my attention all the time anyway, I suppose the only difference was his dad was off work with him all day so maybe it's something to do with that. He hasn't done it before now. He is only at nursery one day a week so it's not like he's been doing it for a while and I've only just found out. I say No quite loudly and stern, he knows it's not a nice no as he pulls a little cry face (without tears) he did it this morning whilst I was playing with him so I said No and walked away. He cried for my attention and I drank my tea and looked the other way. He eventually went to play with his own toys and I obviously eventually joined back in. He hasn't done it this afternoon yet so I'm hoping me completely ignoring him has helped. Time will tell! Xx