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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

DS 2.5 not had a bath for over a week...hellllpppppp!!!!

16 replies

lizbet316 · 09/04/2007 08:45

DS used to like baths and now totally detests them. He will not even go in the bathroom if the bath is run and if I try to lift him in he just screams and climbs back out. For the last week I have had to resort to doing a strip wash with him but he really needs his hair washed etc.
He has not had any bad experiences in the bath but has just gradually gone off them. Have tried toys, bubbles etc etc, even throwing his precious dummy in the bath so he has to retrieve it- nothing works.
Do I just force the issue every night (despite the screams) until it becomes routine or do I try something else??
(Toddlers are SUCH hard work - when I think back to how hard I 'thought' it was with a newborn - little did I know that was the easy bit.......)

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Furball · 09/04/2007 09:00

Shower? Get in the bath or shower with him and ask him to wash you first? Sticker chart? with a subject added on that says bath and the promise of a huge sticker fo his chart that you can show daddy or aunty karen or whoever.

My ds is 5.5 and only has 2 or 3 showers a week. He's just never enjoyed it, so we do it as least as possible. it is better now he's older though

SugaryBits · 09/04/2007 09:04

Have you tried getting in with him?

Babyramone · 09/04/2007 11:08

Iam having same problem with my DS 3.5. He seems to think a spiders going to get him. We've been carefully not to let him think spiders scary, my DS always shows him any we catch etc but he seems to have developed a fear. Far rewards are working with us. Stickers didn't really work so we used things like an extra story. Also he likes having one with his daddy on a saturday when I'm working.
We give him two a week now, unless really dirty and actually his dry skin (exaema) is looking better.
He also copes with shower been held low.
HTH

3littlefrogs · 09/04/2007 18:14

It seems to me that all children go through this phase. I remember having to do strip washes with my boys, and playing hospitals and doing bedbaths (same as a strip wash, but horizontal, lying on a big towel) with dd. Boys are easier because you can keep their hair short and sponge it (same as you sponge upholstery!!)

With dd, for hairwashing - essential when she got nits, I laid her, face up, on the draining board in the kitchen, with a bowl of water out of sight in the sink. Managed to get the hair washed without getting her face wet. The phase didn't last long thank goodness.

It seems to coincide with the inability to judge the depth of the water, fear of submersion, and many children are absolutely terrified that they might go down the plughole - they cannot reason that they are too big and plughole too small. It goes with the age.

luckylady74 · 09/04/2007 18:19

swimming pool showers helped us with this and now we have the underwater spa \lights it's very cool! how about gradually buiding up from a very shallow bath/ short amount of time.

yawningmonster · 11/04/2007 05:01

ds started his anti bath phase at about 2. We have slowly managed to get to the point where he has one "play bath" (absolutely no hair washing allowed) and one "hair bath" a week. I started by just putting toys in a dry bath (he was terrified of the shower and still is so that wasn't an option) I slowly graduated to toys which contained water in them in the bath but no water in the bath itself. Then introduced the pool outside and games with water outside (mostly watering plants, painting fence with water etc)then finally little by little we had water in the bath itself. In the meantime I topped and tailed and ignored the grime. DS was really gob smackingly anti bath, he would scream for ages afterwards and then big heaving sobs so we have come along way since then,

Babyramone · 11/04/2007 12:20

What ever you do, do not do what my DH did last night.
DS 3.5 was as usual relucant to get in, this spiralled out of control and ended with DH physically putting him in. DS was sobbing and screaming.
He told DH he was scared of spiders but this was dismissed and when I went to help was told to keep out as I make things worse and undermine him.
DS ended in bath but wouldn't sit down and DH told him if he didn't he'd turn shower on. He didn't so on it went. Thus more screaming and general hysteria.
Then dh has cheek to take him out and say in big jokey voice "there now your not really scared of spiders just joking aren't you" and DS (obv relived to be out laughrd and agreed)
I was so angry shocked and feel that this was tantimount to bullying.
OH and Dh threatened to take DS's favourite teddy away saying bad boys don't get teddies.
BASTARD.

seeker · 11/04/2007 12:22

Don't force the issue. Keep hands washed and bottom and face clean with baby wipes and a damp flannel respectively and go swimming once a week to clean up the rest of him until the phase passes.

harpsichordcarrier · 11/04/2007 12:28

Christ babyramone that's horrible.
could you get a friend round for a bath? or have a communal bath at a friend's house?
take him to the shop to choose a new bath toy? what about a bath bomb, or some of that Mr Men silly string stuff? or one of those sponges that grows in the bath?
see if he will go in the shower with you?
swimming baths although at the idea of going in fter you
paddling pool in the back garden?

LynnC · 11/04/2007 12:30

My word Babyramone I'm surprised you didnt drown DH for his behaviour. Your poor DS. Hope he is ok and you for that matter - must have been upsetting.

Lizbet316 - my dd is 2.3 and went through this phase from October until start of January. We didnt force her just sponged down and sponged the hair too, she didnt like this much either. Every time me or DP went for shower/bath we would take her with us just to play in the bathroom, which eventually led to her putting toys in the bath with us and then one day asking to come in with us...now we have to whisper when we are having one as we cant keep her out. Hopefully the phase doesnt last long but think pressurising them will increase the fear.

drosophila · 11/04/2007 12:39

I had a big laundry basket that could hold water and I used to bathe DS aged 3ish in it. That worked and then one day he just got in the big bath and wouldn't come out.

Try standing him up in a big bucket if you don't have a bowl big enough and forget the hair. WE BATHE KIDS TOO MUCH ANYWAY I think.

harpsichordcarrier · 11/04/2007 13:26

agreed, I think once a week for a bath is fine tbh.
it's not like they are stinky teenagers

kitbit · 13/04/2007 11:35

could have written your post myself!
ds is 2.7 and gets hysterical when confronted with a bathful of water. Nothing happened to trigger, it was literally overnight.
Luckily we have a bidet which we fill up with bubbly water and he stands in front of it to have a strip wash and now we also run a very shallow bath at the same time and put the toys from the bidet over into the big bath "to see what fun they will have in there". We have also done it where dh does the bidet wash and I have been in the bath having great fun with bubbles and toys. Managed to entice him in once, he sat on my knees looking a bit uncertain but we didn´t push it, just lots of praise and don't make an issue when he doesn't want to.

No idea what started it all off, but everyone tells me it's normal and will pass as quickly as it began!

Trinityrhino · 13/04/2007 11:42

Is the weather nice enough for a paddling pool? would he maybe do that. you could add bubblebath?

Dinosaur · 13/04/2007 11:49

Don't force the issue. Have you tried taking him in the bath with you?

DS3 didn't voluntarily have a bath from September last year until a couple of weeks ago. Every few weeks I took him in the bath with me, otherwise I just rubbed him with a flannel (hair too).

staceym11 · 13/04/2007 12:19

my dd is 2.6 and exactly the same, she freaks at the thought of a bath, while on holiday we managed to get her to come in the shower with me, and it was great but now she is back to normal! most the time i just sponge clean or wrap her in a towel and put her on the draining board to wash her hair in the sink (which she thought was great). Hopefully she'll get over it with some gental persueding!

no great advice here but you are by no means alone!!

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