Are the nursery being too negative?

[Yazzi3]

Hello there.

I've been upset about this all weekend but am I overreacting?
My 18 month year old has recently started nursery. He only goes 1 morning a week currently and has had 3 sessions so far. He has never really been left with anyone except my husband and myself before so it was quite a big step for him.

He doesn't really say any words at the moment but he does understand things quite well. He loves puzzles, bricks, books etc but will always revert back to playing with his cars if he's tearful or appearing unsure of a situation. He's a happy little boy who loves cuddles and tickles.
Each session I have been sent observations, telling me what he's done but they have been so negative, I'm beginning to get quite upset. They just seem to list everything he's done wrong without taking into account the fact it's all so new for him.
Apparently, he 'shows no understanding, doesn't like being told off, has no awareness of boundaries, won't look at an adult when he is being told off, and appears to deliberately ignore adults' to list but a few things.
Most of these comments were in an evaluation section after a detailed observation about him snatching (which he obviously needs to learn not to do).
Maybe I am reading to much into it but i already feel that my poor little man is disliked as he's not conforming how he should.

None of this was mentioned when I picked him up but I have been told that he eats in a funny way and should be using a spoon independently (which is something I've been trying to teach him).

Yes I do think that sounds overly negative. Could you perhaps bring it up with the nursery manager?

Yes. That's what I'm considering. It's just such early days.

Yes, far too negative. Especially during a settle-in period.

Also would be a bit alarmed with "telling off". My nursery would not 'tell off' my 18-month old for snatching. They'd stop the behaviour and redirect attention. If anyone hurts other kids there's a stern "we don't do that, it hurts our friends", but even that isn't "telling off". I'd speak to the manager.

Oh god, far too harsh! 18 month olds don't need told off! I wouldn't keep him there in all honestly, as they don't understand normal toddler behaviour and development. 'Snatching' is totally normal at 18 months, they should be gently guiding him, not telling him off.

Really don't like the sound of the place, and I work in crèche.

Thank you all so much for your responses. I really appreciate it. I will contact the nursery today although I stupidly feel nervous about doing so. I know my little man probably isn't where he should be in terms of speaking and feeding but he spent so much of his first year of life in and out of hospital that I think that may have had some impact (especially in regards to eating issues). I did explain al this at the settling in meeting and in his paperwork.

Does he need to be in nursery?
If you are only doing it for socialisation rather than working, maybe consider a playgroup where you stay rather than nursery?

Does he need to be in that nursery? Could you leave him six months? Or try a different setting, a childminder perhaps? This doesn't sound like a good match at all.

I'm going to start looking at nurseries again. It's such a long waiting list in our area for most nurseries. He doesn't need to be in nursery but I thought it would benefit him socially. Plus I thought it would get him use to being with other people as he is only use to being with us (no family to help us out babysitting as my mum is disabled). We do go to a couple of toddler groups already.

Honestly? I'd drop nursery, keep going to toddler groups and meet up with other parents. Do nursery when you get your free 15/30hrs.

That's far too negative! And shows very little understanding of child development. My DD is just a bit younger and I WISH she had an understanding of boundaries (though the careful look she gives me before trying to climb on the TV cabinet suggests she might, a bit ).

My DD is home with me too and I was a bit concerned about socialisation. Strongly agree with others about going to toddler groups. Also, do you have any children's centres in your area? We go to the stay and play sessions a lot and they've been really good for DD.

Another thing you could consider is a morning a week with a childminder. We're around to start that with DD, and, based on settling in, a small setting with one person who knows her really well, is going to work well for us.

This is very odd. I wouldn't expect to hear anything negative about a child unless they were hurting other or destroying things. Trust your instincts and take him somewhere with nicer staff.