Does every baby/child go through separation anxiety?

[jane313]

I was thinking about this today when discussing the creche at a pool I go to. All the mothers seemed to have babies that cried either the first few times when they went there or cried so many times they never went back again. When discussing it in general one had said to her friend whose child cried when first going to a nursery that she would be more worried if he had never cried at all. I felt like they all thought something was wrong with my child because I said he had always seemd very happy in the creche (they only stay 90 mins there under 2). I am determined not to get paranoid about this but was interested in other peoples experiences.

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My ds never really did either, he was never at all clingy. He's 3y3m now and only ever gets upset at the creche/pre-school if he's under the weather or very over-tired.

As babies of 9-18 months both my dds didnt like me to be out of eyeline, but at 3 and a half and 2 and a half neither of them blinked an eyelid at being plopped off at nursery and I came to the conclusion that they were so used to me being a constant in thier life that the thought that I may not return (or whatever the crying kids think) for hours never entered thier heads.
At dds nursery 8/10 go in with no problems seperating from Mummy and the other 2 scream till she comes back!

Mine never did -- they were alway glad to see the back of me.

ds1 started nursery 3 days a week at 7 months old. He is now two and a half and has attended every week since. I have maybe had three occasions where he has not been happy at my leaving in the whole time he has been attending
He loves nursery and has never been clingy. How great is that on both sides?

DS never has done. Always worryingly happy to go off with any stranger - even for the night.

And yes, I do sometimes feel a bit paranoid that while other babies are flinging themselves into the pits of despair, mine is happily waving and kissing, or just running off to play!

Mine never clung either. I have a delightful friend who always said "it just shows how well-adjusted and secure they are". Well it made me feel better at the time - so ner to your negative friends!

Actually it just means they are all different, some cling more than others, it doesn't mean the clingers are more attached or that the confident ones aren't attached enough. Don't get paranoid, jane. Repeat after me - they are all different.

Both my girls were happy to be left at clubs (Centerparcs etc) and nursery without batting an eyelid.

My son was a different kettle of fish - very clingy, used to cry if I left the room and cried initially when I left him at nursery. Very confident and happy when he started school though.

thats nice to know. whenever I collect him he just has a quick look at me, an occasional smile and then carries on with whatever he is playing with.

the thing is I made the fatal mistake of feeling quite smug about it!!

I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times ds1 has objected to me leaving him anywhere - he's two and a half. Sometimes I feel paranoid that we're not properly 'bonded' but mostly I just feel relieved and thankful!

No sign from ds, now 16 months. Just says bye bye and wanders to the nearest inviting looking toy. What that woman was saying is that she needs to feel she is missed, not that there is anything wrong with your child.

Separation anxiety? What's that? Something parents suffer from!

Ds (now 3.10) never suffered from it. He's been going to a childminder full time since he was 4 months. He goes in in the morning without a backward glance and rarely a goodbye - but he greets us in the evening with a big smile, a running hug and "Mummeeee!!!!!" (or "Dadeee" as appropriate).

He gets a little bit more upset now sometimes if we leave him with SIL or my parents in the evening, especially if we haven't pre-warned him - but as long as he is allowed to wave goodbye and is reassured we will be coming back for him, he is very brave.

ds 1 ( nearly 4 ) never suffered at all, but ds2 ( age 1) has it but strangely not when i drop him off at nursery, he doesnt even bother with a wave goodbye, just shuffles off to play, but if we are at home etc ds2 cries if i leave the room or cries to be held etc.