How do I stop DS (3) from hitting me?

[TisapityshesaGeordie]

I have tried ignoring it. I've tried time outs. I've tried removal of toys/privileges. I've tried gently explaining why he mustn't do it. I've tried telling off. He knows it's wrong and always says sorry, but then does it again the moment he doesn't get his own way.

His sister never did this. We've never used smacking as a punishment, nor has anyone in the family. His dad's the gentlest man on the planet. Just now he had a tantrum about brushing his teeth, and hit me several times on the legs and chest. When that failed to provoke a reaction, he hit me twice in the face. Brushed his teeth for him and put him to bed. Told him he wouldn't get a story as he'd hit me. So he hit me again.

Other than this - fairly new, it's definitely post-3 - behaviour, he's a sweet and loving boy, who's very friendly and has good manners. Is it just a phase I need to ride out, or is there something I should be doing?

Stay calm and hold his hands down firmly if he's trying to hit you, if he then tried to kick if you can angle yourself away until he can't reach. Also punish the behaviour straight away then move on. So don't say your not watching the cartoons or having sweets because you hit earlier just brings the subject up again. Zone out restrain him from hitting and ignore him until he calms down or stops. If he doesn't get any reaction from the behaviour he might stop.

Thanks. When I try holding his hands he twists away and shouts "don't hold on to me!" But I'll keep trying.

He doesn't get to say "don't hold onto me" if he's trying to hit you! If you can't restrain him, remove yourself.
Don't ignore it, he's too old to do that. He certainly won't be ignored if he hits anyone else. Suggest you select one punishment/ consequence ( which needs to be immediate) and stick to that. We always used time out.

I actually asked at nursery if he ever hits there - at home it's only ever me, never his dad or sister or grandma. His key worker looked quite shocked and said no, he's always lovely.

DD could have cracking temper tantrums but never hit, so I'm a bit at a loss. I can restrain him, obviously, but it just seems to wind the situation up, which is the opposite of what I want.