Development delays

[Afternooncatnap]

My son is 9 months old and has development delays. He can't fully support his head, can't sit, has rolled but then forgot how to do it again, doesn't take toys and doesn't hold things well.
When he was smaller and younger I didn't think about it as much but as he gets older it's becoming more evident how far behind he is. Its starting to feel like hell never get there which is getting me down and the rest of the family's denial makes me full alone in this.

I would really just like other people to share their experiences of children in similar situations and how you coped. I find it hard seeing other babies at groups and on social media. I also get embarrassed when people ask his age, I don't want to lie but I also don't want people judging us, and I don't want to explain his medical history to everyone I meet.

Are there any tips on how to help him develop.

Hi aftet

Hi afternooncatnap I saw you had replied on my post about baby group sadness
My son didn't sit unsupported until about 10-11 months and the same with rolling
He hated tummy time but loves sitting so I used to sit him in the corner of the sofa to help him sit upright.
He also didn't really reach out for toys until about 7-8 months and I just kept handing him toys while he was sat on the sofa to help with his hand development I would just sit on the floor l next to him while he did this and eventually he started to reach out for the toys put in frount of him whilst he was sat in the corner of the sofa and I think this built up his core strength enough to sit upright.
Sometimes I wouldn't notice a change for weeks and then out of nowhere he would do something new so your son will get there.
My family haven't shared my concerns about my sons development either which is hard but they don't see him everyday and everyone copes in different ways with issues so I don't take it to heart
I do find it very hard I am not going to lie and have cried myself to sleep many times about my sons development.
I thought for the longest time that I was a rubbish mum and that was why he was behind but have come to realise that development is so complicated and this isn't the case.
Its also upsetting worrying about the future and you wonder how your going to cope if they do have special needs but I know I would do anything for my son so try not to anticipate future difficulties and do what I can for him each day to help with his development.
I have noticed that at baby groups all the mums are comparing notes about each other's babies not in a mean way but I think it is for reassurance because even the ones with babies ahead in walking or talking are worried about some aspect of their babies development. So I really wouldn't worry about them judging you.

What has the health visitor/gp said about his development?

At my sons 10 month check I asked to be referred to a paediatrician because he was and still is refusing all solids and it has taken three months to get an appointment and in that time he hasn't progressed with his gross motor development so will be discussing this with the paedtrician aswell

You may be able to get an earlier visit to the paediatrician xx

My ds also sits well in the corner of the sofa. So putting him there more often is probably a good idea rather than in his chair.

We have lots of Dr's evolved due to issues at birth. They think his issue is either an issue with the balance part of his ear and eye sight, or a neurological problem, or a combo of the two. We've basically been told there is nothing we can do just wait and see what happens.

I have real issue with mums complaining about normal stuff. How I would love a sleepless night to be my biggest issue. But I suppose it's not other peoples falt my son has issues.

So is your son only on milk. Did he have a feeding issue in the start?

If they think it could be a balance issue then that could explain maybe why he's not rolling I can imagine it must felt really strange for him and he didn't enjoy the sensation rather than him not physically being able to do it
If his eye sight isn't great perhaps toys that light up like those balls that you can hit or crinkly books will help him reach out for toys aswell.
I also have this bath seat for my son which he sits in a when he was in the bath and he loved to lean back and splash his legs which helped strengthen his core if you type in swivel bath seat to google you should be able to find it.
Also a ball pit might be good for your little boy because he would be somewhat supported by the balls and he would be surrounded by balls to grab.
I also used to spend hours sat behind him with my legs in a v shape as well so I could prop him back up when he started to slump

He's only on milk couldn't get him to latch and he had silent reflux up until about 6-7 months
He's refused all spoon feeding and finger foods he has never mouthed any of his toys though and he won't let me brush his teeth or change his bottle to a toddler cup

I suppose the Drs are being hesitant to label him with anything with him being so young

How's his eating and babbling? X

I'll have to try some of that out. He loves being in water and is growing out of his bath.

My son had eating issues at birth, wouldn't latch and would only take small amounts very slowly from the bottle and silent reflux which would cause him to stop breathing. We were told his swallow was unsafe and so he was tube fed. He was labeled a having noonans syndrome which stops kids having a desire to eat, but turned out to be a pyloric stenosis (block in his tummy). They operated and his appetite came. But he still never bf. He seems to be doing ok with mush food. He super chatty, never shuts up.

It sounds like your son has an aversion to oral sensations. You need SALT (speech and language therapy) and potentially ENT review. Don't wait for HV they are useless. Go to the gp put your foot down and don't leave until they refer you to therapy. The SALT people really helped with my son's unsafe swallow.