Normal 4 year old behaviour?

[WS12]

Hi everyone. What I'm looking for really is to know if my son is a "normal" 4 year old - and by normal I mean other people's 4 year olds are the same as mine, and nothing out he ordinary.

I am really struggling with his behaviour, I feel as if I'm just waiting for him to be diagnosed with something if you know what I mean. I'm always making up excuses for his behaviour like he's tired, he hasn't eaten, he's coming down with something, needs a poo etc etc nearly every day. The behaviour I'm talking about is really immature behaviour like being overly emotional, flinging himself around on the floor arms and legs everywhere when he's upset or disappointed. He still has a melt down if his sandwich is cut into he wrong shape or the wrong number of pieces, he can go off it if his food is on a square plate and not a round plate. He still runs away from me when I say it's time to get ready to go out (he sees me with his clothes). We have just been on holiday to visit grandparents and his behaviour was terrible to say it politely, I was glad to get back to try and settle him back down. All in all I'm trying to show how my son who is 4 and will be 5 in February is very immature and almost like a toddler still. Has anyone else had this with their son or daughter or are going through it now? It doesn't help that he seems very tired all the time. He goes to bed at 7pm and is out like a light. He's up every night though and in bed with us, he doesn't sleep through yet at all.

I'm really struggling with his wild erratic behaviour, my husband says he's like a brat and we've spoiled him. Our son hits and kicks if we say no to things, screams, makes fists etc. He can't handle crowds or busy times like family gatherings - he had a meltdown when everyone sang happy birthday to him at his 4th birthday party. On top of this he's began to smack himself in the face time to time (like a face palm) when he's confused or exasperated. Like a nervous tick maybe?

Does this sound like a 4 year old child should be? I also have a two year old DD and she's copying his behaviour 🙁. He isn't at school yet as we are in Australia and he goes to 4 year old kinder, he will be repeating the year as the teachers say he would benefit from another year to mature before school which I think is a good idea

Any ideas? Many thanks x

One thing I should also add is we emigrated to Aus September last year and he's had a lot of change. I know this will have an impact on his behaviour too x

Didn't want to read and run as you sound really worried. I think it sounds like a lot of your son's behaviour is normal for a four year old to some extent.. testing limits, tantruming etc.. it's maybe more the extent or if it's constant that would make me think something's bothering him. The hitting himself, struggling with busy times and the teachers saying he would benefit from another year in kinder all suggest that something is definitely troubling him. A big move could easily be the reason. We had a similar move four years ago and my daughter was similar age to your son. She seemed to be coping really well with it all the first couple of months and then all of a sudden she totally stopped pooing. It became a massive issue and took over a year to resolve. My middle one reacted with poo holding too and his behaviour deteriorated and there was more tantrums when I went back to work after four years at home. Kids often react to changes or worries with behavioural problems. Is there anything else going on in your lives at the moment? Changes in the family? Lots of arguments? Illness? Money or work trouble the kids might have overheard? Or could he be worrying about something? I've often found with mine extra positive attention and special mummy/daddy time solve a lot of problems together with firm boundaries and little encouragement (sticker charts etc). Have you spoken to a health visitor about this? Hope he gets more settled!