Strategies for a stubborn 5yo

[flutterworc]

Okay, so it's no news to me that DS, very nearly 5, is stubborn. But now he's started school, this has developed into selective hearing and just plain not listening/ignoring if he doesn't want to do something. This is a bit of a problem at school and increasingly frustrating at home when he insists on doing absolutely everything at his own pace and with his own parameters. He wants to negotiate everything onto his terms.

What have people done to start to challenge this behaviour and encourage, dare I say it, conformity? I don't want him constantly being told off at school as he's actually quite sensitive, despite the stubbornness, and worries a lot about being told off. I can't seem to get him to connect the two.

Other than that, he's a good boy - kind, polite, helpful etc.

We've always got by with counting down, sitting of the step or loss of privileges/toys previously, but these don't seem to be having much effect. I have a suspicion that we're in sticker chart land or something? We've never needed one before, so I don't know how that would work!

Thanks!

I suspected it may be the eternally unsolved conundrum...

sticker chart might be worth a try.
Identify suitable reward, something he wants (ideally to do, not buy, but whatever works)
Give him a sticker every time he does what it is you're after (does what he's told without arguing, or whatever).
When he has agreed number of stickers he gets the treat.
Discuss how he earned it by good behaviour.
Repeat until he's an angel ;-)

Even if you don't go the sticker chart route you could focus on praising the good for a few weeks, and try to let the bad not bother you too much.

Don't know if that's much help, to be honest!

I wouldn't worry too much about the school side, unless they are calling you in for serious chats. As long as you're not telling your dc to ignore the teacher, most teachers get better results for this kind of thing than the parents! If he does get told off and tells you about it, that's a good opportunity to try and connect the two. It will come eventually.