For a bit of background DS 11 is adopted and does have some attachment difficulties, he also has a diagnosis of high functioning Asperger.
DS is very controlling and always has been, the past three to four years though we have seen behaviour calm right down and he has stopped the full on meltdowns.
He started secondary school in September, this has thrown and and the change is affecting him quite badly. He doesn't feel safe like he used to in primary school and this is having an effect on behaviour. We have spoken to school and they have put things in place to try and help him.
Since he started his behaviour has deteriorated badly, he has become really bad with food again, only eating beige things which we overcame about three years ago, he's pretty rude and disrespectful. But the worst problem is phone/iPad. They have a time limit on their devices but if behaviour is unacceptable they lose half an hour. DS lost his time yesterday after being really rude and argumentative over a two hour period.
He then went on to have a massive tantrum for over two hours screaming that he needed it and give him it back, totally out of control. It sounded like a rattling heroin addict.
After he eventually calmed down I spoke to him and said I was concerned about the effect ipad and phone were having on him and that it sounded like he was addicted to them. For the time being I think it's best to remove them for a while. That of course caused it to all start again.
Any advise of managing this would be really appreciated, but the main question was should I still let him take his phone to school, because of his anxiousness he's screaming that if he needs to ring or message me on the bus or whatever he can't. I have an app blocker so can block all apps apart from phone/messages or should I just say no you're not taking it.
I don't want to make his anxiousness worse, however he has to learn that the behaviour is unacceptable and tantruming like a two year old doesn't get him his own way.
Just don't know what to do for the best!!