I apologise, it's another 3-yr-olds-are-hard-work thread...2 specific questions, though

[Pruni]

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Hmm my dd went through a phase of saying "William hit me with a dinosaur!" A LOT and actually it had happened ONCE and that was ages ago but she was obviously fixated.

I would ask the staff and see what's going on.

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Probably the boy is very noticable becausee of his behavior, and it all seems a bit thrilling to your ds

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Tell him "If you wallop X's baby sister, X's mummy will go home and she will take X with her.. You will have nobody to play with then"

my ds has the same sort of friend (3yo too). Nursery staff have told me its a love hate relationship. They say ds' friend is 'very lively!' with a grin, when I asked about trying to arrange a playdate. ds always seems to come home with a bump somewhere from 'x'. But they are inseperable - not sure there's anything I can do about it. ds friend has now moved upstairs to pre school and left ds behind - he's distraught!

There is a little girl at ds1's playschool, and all I here all evening is "X did this, X did that, X is funny, that was naughty wasn't it mummy, but we have to be nice to X because sometimmes it is hard for her to be good"

I think part of it is horror and part of it is envy

yes, other child sounds v thrilling - tis often the ones with the most ahem noticeable behaviour that get mentioned at that age (wouldn't worry too much unless he seems unhappy)

toy sharing a nightmare at this age - I take it as the other child is a similar age to your ds then the parents will be fully prepared for toddler behaviour

perhaps pre-prepared activities (arrghh) for the toddlers to stop any baby bashing?

hear hear hear HEAR not here!

1. I'd ask the nursery staff, something along the lines of 'are they good friends, DS talks about him a lot, do they play nicely, are they good?' (I do this regularly!!)

1. I'd try to sort some toys out beforehand and say to DS 'shall we let the baby play with these baby toys, 'cos you're a big boy'. I also encourage my kids to put away any particularly precious toys away. My DS1 (5) seems to have issues with particular friends of DS2s (4) and its a right pain. Am not sure if he gets a bit jealous.

(And then I keep my fingers crossed and pray nothing happens ...)

Good luck!

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I thought it was just my Dd who did this, although she goes on about one child and says she hit him or pushed him and then the other way around.
I knew it wasn't all true as it was mostly about pushing on the chute and they hadn't been outside for days as it had been raining.
I know who the other child is, he tried to run me over on a trike one day, and maybe it did happen once but think most of it is her imiagination as the staff have noticed no problems.

maybe if they are 'idle threads' (ie you dont enforce them) then that's why they don't motivate him?

my ds is coming up 4 and also fixates on the actions of naughty kids in a thrilled/horrified way. A boy hit him at nursery, oooh...a good 6 months ago, but my ds still talks about him doing it

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DS, also 3, has a love-hate relationship with anotehr child at nursery who is quite disruptive.

Said child has scratched DS twice, once quite badly, usually in tussles over toys apparently.

This child has some issues going on at home which I have become aware of and I know nursery are on top of it, but DS often mentions that X was naughty.

Recently DS had a few days at nursery when he was naughty, and when I aksed him about it, he said X did so-and-so(unrealted to DS' own behaviour). Then on Friday he was apparently fine, and when I aksed him about his morning, he said "X wasn't there today".

So I think although I don;t think DS likes X very much, he has possibly been copying his behaviour or perhaps trying out his own version..

A lot of his behaviour at the moment is boundary testing, i thnk, and trying to work ou why/when grownups get cross.

He said to me today quite firmly

"Mummy if you are naughty I will get very cross with you and tell you off".

As I was driving the car at teh time and not being the least bit naughty, so I did laugh..

ds1 often turns to me after he has been (perfectly validly!) told off, with tears in his eyes, and sobs "Sometimes, mummy, you hurt me!"

I am torn between breaking down into tears of horror that me dear one should feel so sad, or screeching "You big fat liar!"

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Haven't read through the thread... but my first thought when I read the OP was that boys are so often catergorised as naughty because they tend (note the word tend) to be rather boisterous.. full of energy and life. Nurseries and schools so often want wee boys to sit still, read, draw etc.

I would imagine (and again I haven't read the thread) that they are just 2 normal boys being boys. Maybe they are just really great mates and that's why he's constantly mentioning him. The DTs are constantly bubbling on about one girl in their playgroup. She's my fave... got so much spirit! Love that in a child!