Worried about Autism at early age: hand twisting, etc.

[mommysandrine]

Hello,

I'm worried about my very young son Ethan, who is 5 months old. My husband is beginning to become concerned, but is probably worried more about me, as my mood is going up and down by the hour based on how my son is currently behaving. I'm obsessively searching the Internet for early warning signs and early treatment options...but almost none of the material pertains to one so young as my son so I'm feeling rather stuck for now. The more I read and the older Ethan gets, though, the more convinced I am that something is wrong. My heart aches, and I really need some support.

Ethan is capable of engaging in interaction for minutes at a time, and he's advanced in terms of motor skills (sits up unaided already, etc.) However, he's showing some signs which worry me very much. I'm most worried about not being able to keep his attention without extra effort, and the way he's "crawling" early with his legs but pushing his face against the floor while making noises. I'm also worried about the way he scratches things and puts his thumb against things, twisting his hand around as he does so.

Other things: 1.) Often it's hard to get or keep his attention unless I am making silly faces or sounds, or eating, talking on the phone, or brushing my teeth; 2) He is doing lots of things that seems to be stimulating his sense of touch to a strange degree: pushing his thumb against something and rotating his wrist around it or popping his knuckle back and forth, crawling with his legs while pushing his face against the floor and making noises, "hitting" things alot and pushing off against things with his legs, including me sometimes while breastfeeding; 3) He rarely is still...constantly in motion; 4) He is totally attracted to "things" of all kinds: books, cameras, toothbrushes, etc. If I am holding him he will often lean over and reach out his arms towards something several feet away. Everyone is commenting how smart he must be as he is so engaged with the word at 5 months old...but I'm scared; 5) He's not making any consonant sounds, he does little "talking" to me but lots towards "things", he's not a good sleeper (lots of short naps), he had a "week suck" when he was born, and his head is in the 25th percentile.

I'm trying to stay away from the Internet, but I just can't. I think I have bookmarked every page out there having to do with causes and symptoms, and have now moved on to treatment...though no one's talking about 5-month olds. If he has any kind of developmental issue, I want to get him help ASAP. On the bright side, at least I'll have found it early. I don't think I would have noticed much odd had I not been I was keeping my eye out for it because I had been worried about the stress I was under during my pregnancy, the influenza shot I had, and the filling I lost while pregnant. I know there's a lot of quackery out there regarding autism, but I'm still worried.

I'd love to hear from parents whose kids once did what my son's doing (and hear whether they went on to have development issues or not) and others who have similar concerns, advice, or information.

Thanks in advance.

Well, Early Intervention came. That's a system in the U.S. for kids age 0-3 where each state must provide services for kids with developmental delays, or those at risk. They feel ds has "sensory issues". The feel he is sensory seeking...always looking for ways to seek heavy sensory input. That would explain why he is sort of "rough" when he touches people, why he is so keen to stand and try to walk at 6 months old, why he has an impossible time settling down to sleep, why he throws himself around hard in his activity saucer, etc. They feel his eye contact is good and thus aren't thinking autism, though they do see that he's not always completely responsive to voice (which scares me). They recommend weekly occupational therapy sessions, along with a full hearing test.

That's the update.

That sounds good. I don't have much experience of Special Needs, but my gut instinct is that if a baby seeks stimulation then it is a good thing to give him the stimulation he needs - that way you have more ocntrol of the situation and can try to channel his behaviour. If there are hearing issues then, first of all, don't let that overwhelm you - babies are small and their organs smaller still, they sometimes need more time than expected to develop and function fully. For example, both my children had severely sticky right eyes until they were several months old because the tear-ducts weren't properly developed yet, which made them prone to conjunctivitis. When the ducts sorted themselves out, the sticky eyes cleared up and infections became merely a yucky memory. Secondly, have a look at baby-signing. It's a sensory-rich mode of communication which could be very satisfying for your ds. I believe USA and UK have different sign 'languages', but one of them is called Makaton, if that is of any help.

Oh, I've just remembered that you are already doing signing! Try incorporating the signing into your regular communication and into all your singing, rather than as a 'sit down and study' session. My children constatnly astonish me by how much they pick up simply through living with it, rather than studying whatever it is.

An update and more questions for all you wonderful people who so kindly helped put my fears to rest some months ago: My son is now 14 months old. He's doing absolutely wonderfully. He's happy, he has several words, he entertains us with little games, he follows simple commands, he does things like feed his stuffed animals and have them talk on the phone, and he definitely communicates his needs with pointing and vocalization. He's been slow to pick up any sign language, doesn't bother to open his mouth to utter some of his words (key, tree, cheese, toothbrush), and doesn't say Mama or wave yet, but we can almost always tell what he wants, so I think everything else will follow. (As for "Mama", he does point to me if someone asks him where Mama is.)

So I've laid my earlier concerns to rest...almost. Given his level of interaction, which is really quite good, it seems almost preposterous to worry about anything. Still, he seems to have 4 things that he comes back to over and over again all day long, and he seems to get "stuck" on each one each time:

1. every light he sees (no word for it, but he points again and again at every light he sees )
2. ceiling fans (despite many attempts to teach him various signs, his only sign is "fan". He can spot a fan a mile away, and makes the sign EVERY time we walk by the neighboring apartment's door even though he only ever saw the ceiling fan inside there once, and then only for a few seconds.)
3. our crazy robotic vacuum cleaner (He says "Roomba"...the brand...at least 200 times a day; wants me to take it out of it's hiding place and start it up all day long)
4. the phone (drags it around, wants me to talk on it hundreds of times a day)

Do these sound like typical toddler fixations, or should I be keeping an eye on things? Are these just more of those behaviors that are fine in a toddler, but worrisome in a 4-year old?

Mommy Sandrine:
Despite what everyone has explained to you, despite the fact that 9 months later, your lovely son is developing perfectly normally, and seems like such an intelligent little boy, you still seem to think there is something wrong.
Sorry if I seem to be having a go because I'm not.
On the contrary you have done me a favour.
Because I can totally see myself in you. You opened my eyes and made me realize that the problem is not our babies, but us.
I first read your thread earlier this afternoon (whilst I was looking for some advice on certain behaviours), and to be honest, when I read your first message I felt sick in my stomach because I thought: "Oh my god! That's what DD does, she must be autistic too!!", my heart sank (you must know the feeling), and the more of your message I read, the more worried I got, convinced that DD had a problem.
Only there isn't a problem is there? Only with us.
I clicked when you said: "My husband is probably more worried about me", because last week I was worried about something my daughter was doing differently and I asked my husband: "Does that worry you?" and he replied: "To be honest, I'm more worried about you!".
Like those lovely lovely ladies advised, do not go on the internet to inform yourself on diseases, illnesses, symptoms etc... it's only going to make it worse. I've stopped doing that, I used to go on english and french health websites (I'm french) which means: double worry, and I realized that the more I looked, the more I found. And if your go and see doctors/specialists and point out your worries, sometimes they end up finding something that isn't there. Believe me I'm talking from experience, I went through a stage of going to the doctor every week and suggesting an illness that I
might have, and when DD was born I was doing the same with her, and every time they came up with a "possible" illness or problem that wasn't even there. Luckily I've stopped doing that now because
I realized that it was all in my head.
I'm not saying that any worry you have will be unfounded, but think about it, put things into perspective. If something is wrong, you'll cross that bridge when you come to it (my sister told me
that when I was over worrying and it used to drive
me mad but I've accepted it, and it's such a relief).
What everyone said makes so much sense: While you're worrying, obsessing etc... you're not enjoying your baby, and they don't stay babies for
ever. I feel like I am very similar to you and that's why I am writing this, please don't feel that I'm lecturing you because in a sense, I'm lecturing myself.
A lot of people mentionned PND, I don't feel depressed at all, but I definately feel that MY behaviour isn't healthy, and that if I carry on like this, my child will not benefit from it.
Like you said: "Even hypocondriacs get sick", yes, but probably through hypocondria.
Take care and enjoy your son, he seems wonderful and clever! Be thankful instead of worried!!
(P.S: By the way, are you french by any chance? Only, I read somewhere that people who live far from their family/loved ones have a hypocondriac tendancy. The only reason I'm saying this is because I'm french myself. Sorry if I'm wrong.).

Sorry, in answer to your questions: the obsession with the ceiling fan sounds more like your obsession, but I can understand why a child would be fascinated by them adults are! (unfortunately in England it's very rare, it's too cold!!).
When a child finds out a word, they will repeat it 200 or 400 hundred times a day, so nothing abnormal about that, he's excited about learning which is excellent!
The fact that he likes the vacuum cleaner is good too, maybe he wants to help you
The fact that he loves the phone is 100% normal, EVERY child I know likes the phone and hear people speak on it, I've got a photo of myself when I was
3 years old with a (fake) phone in my hand, my mum
told me that I couldn't get enough of it, I still can't!!
Lights are bright, therefore children love them, again, normal.

I used to be a childminder and a lot of children when they were starting to point would point up to the light. It's bright.

Also EVERY child I have ever known has loved telephones. I havent come across one who doesn't!! play ones, real ones, mobiles!! they love them!!

It sounds to me as though your ds is doing fantastically well. He has language and communication skills, sounds very sociable and has good imaginative play. I really think that his love of fans, lights etc is just a normal fascination.

My daughter does hand-twisting when she gets excited, and still kicks her feet. We find it adorable! We call it 'twisty the wristy' and do it along with her. She's such a happy child, she just loves to show it!

Thank you all for responding. It's very helpful to have a second opinion, and I'm glad to hear all of you feel my son's development is on track. It's really hard as a first time mother to know what is normal. I'm not sure where to ask questions other than places like this. I am grateful for your responsese.

No, Celou, I'm not French. I'm glad my post helped you in some way. I was a little taken aback by your post and procrastinated for a long time on responding.

I know worrying does not help. In all honesty, though, I feel like I have a really healthy attitude when I am with my son. I can't imagine he has any idea I am worried about him. I delight with him in all of his interests, including vacuums, lights, and fans. In fact, I bought him a toy vacuum cleaner the other day. He, of course, loves it, and I love to see him so happy with his toy.

He interacts wonderfully with his father and myself, and he loves his babysitter, who comes three days a week. The day care we tried though he wasn't ready, though, so we pulled him out after three days. He is quite shy. He likes to watch other kids, and will hand them toys, but then he retreats.

He sometimes wakes up in his sleep talking about the vacuum cleaner or the fan. He has is own word for each. He points at where he knows the vacuum cleaners are kept at our apartment complex, he talks about the neighbor's ceiling fan whenever we walk by his closed door. When we go into a restaurant, he points out each and every light in the place. He is 16 months old at this point.

I'd like to not worry, but everywhere I read about Asperger's syndrome, I see my son (and myself, honestly) to some extent. I had a rather painful childhood due to low self esteem and to having no clue about how to be a kid. I guess I just want to make sure that I do whatever is best for him, yet as a first time mom I don't know what's typical and what is not, so I keep looking for other opinions.

BTW, I studied mathematics in college, and am now a computer programmer. I was a bit of a misfit until I arrived at the very intense technical university I attended where I finally felt at home. There, I was considered quite social, which was a wonderful change from feeling like an oddball. Looking back, I wouldn't be surprised to find out my father or my paternal grandmother were on the spectrum, too. Both were quiet, smart, depressed, had a dry sense of humor, and were dedicated card players. If my son is like myself, my father, or his mother, that is okay, but I want to do for him what no one did for them or me...help us thrive in this world in which we do not quite feel at home. If my son is "different" that's fine, but I want to help him avoid any depression or self esteem problems if I can. My father committed suicide 8 years ago, and his mother did not die a happy woman.

I guess I'm just desperate for someone to say "Yes, your son is likely a little different than most. But with the right support from you he will thrive. Here's what you need to do...." Or "No, you may be on the spectrum, but your son certainly is not." Or "It's too hard to tell yet. In the meantime, here are some things you can do which will help him if he is on the spectrum, and would help any typical child as well".

Look at this: "It is important to note that intense and unusual preoccupations are often observed very early in development and sometimes are the first signs of AD noted by parents. For example, an 18-month-old had an extreme preoccupation with vacuum cleaners; ... Behaviors such as lining up toys (and not then playing with them), spinning wheels, fascination with fans or lights, and opening and closing doors are common..." From "Early Diagnosis of Asperger's Disorder: Lessons From a Large Clinical Practice." by PERRY, RICHARD M.D.

Thanks for listening.

Anyone?

as my dh says 'there's such a thing as too much knowledge'

I've scanned through this and I cannot imagine the torment of constantly thinking there's something wrong with your child especially for so protracted a time.

No-one here can actually diagnose from what you say, because its all down to knowing your child.

I personally do not, from anything you've said, see anything different from my totally NT children BUT I would strongly suggest you get a paediatric specialist involved because you will go on worrying .. maybe once your child is given a clean bill of health you may start to relax .. but at that point you may even consider some counselling.

I think that if there is nothing wrong your child, your constant worry may affect his development

what I'm missing from your posts are his difficulties. Many children can be a bit odd, but if they sail through life so what. if you're worried then keep an eye, especially when he starts school, but if he doesn't have any problems knowing what to do/how to behave then its not a problem.

RE the lights thing. Whn my autistic son is having a light obsession then he will scream if they are on/off whatveer they have to be. At the moment for example he won't walk in the kitchen unless the light is on in the morning. If it isn';t he stands at the door screaming "dai dai" (light light) (actually thinking about it someone else has to turn it on- but only in the morning, may have to add that to the list to be tackled). Even when really ill recently (vommy esepcially when moving) he wouldn't go into the bathroom until he;d turned the light on. Do you see the difference? If he just pointed at them then I'd think weird interest- it's the fact that if the lights are "wrong" then he can't function that makes him autistic.

I've met quite a few people in my time wqho are a bit odd, but if they're functioning, working, making sense of the world easily then they don't need a dx.

I agree with Jimjams. The thing that's missing from your posts is an account of the problems you are facing on a day-to-day basis. With my 2 boys things have to be a certain way - whether that's a particular door being open/closed or a person standing in a particular place at lining-up time in the playground. If things are not the way they 'should' be then meltdowns start. Ds2 is at a stage where if something isn't the way he thinks it should be he will scream and throw himself against walls, headbutt the ground, lash out at anyone nearby etc. When he is truly obsessive about something then being stopped from doing/looking/touching whatever it is will send him into a rage. This doesn't seem to be happening for your ds.

It is entirely possible that you may be somewhere on the spectrum yourself but I honestly have no idea. You can google for an online test which is supposed to give you a rough guide. I think it was called the "AQ test" but I'm not 100% sure.

Hi mommysandrine. I have a 21 month old, so am just a bit ahead of you! I really just wanted to tell you what my son was doing at this age, so you can compare. My son has been assessed for autism and no signs at all have been found.

Your son sounds REALLY like mine at that age, except that mine has possible delayed speech (too early to tell but serious enough that referal has been made-hence the autism check). His comprehension however is absolutely normal (actually advanced-proud mummy icon), and sounds very similar to where your ds was at 14 months ago.

He was also an early walker, sitter etc, but didn't roll til after he sat! His physical skills-gross and fine-are really really good (another proud mummy icon-it just makes up for the fact that his same-age friends try to teach him how to talk!)

However, he has had every one of the obsessions you mention, except the ceiling fan-don't think he's ever seen one. He loves regular fans though. As an example of his current behaviour, he will sign "grandma-car-allgone" again and again, and whatever we say back, he just does it again. I think he just wants to talk about grandma (who he adores) going away in her car, but his vocab is too limited. And with regard to lights-going for a walk with him down a street we stop literally every 2 seconds for him to point out a light on a car, on a house, a streetlight, the sun etc etc. Re the signs-he had very few signs at this age. He did have some, but then dp and I both know basic British Sign Language and do sign a bit when we are talking to each other. He's only really started signing 2 months ago, now has too many signs to count but easily as many as he "should" have words.

Like your little boy, he went through a period of extreme shyness and is still in it to an extent. We pulled him out of nursery, and for him that helped a lot-he needed the one-to-one with someone who knew him really well at that point, I think, and he wasn't getting that at his particular nursery (and nothing against nurseries or childcare, I think they are great, just didn't work too well for him at this age). I could do this because I was anyway starting maternity leave.

I'm sure you know that if you look on the Internet for something to substantiate your worries, you WILL find it. Before they checked for autism, I was a bit worried. However, I have been very fortunate in that I have known and worked with people with AS as collegues and at school, and it did not terrify me.

Can you get an assessment? Maybe pay if need be?

Another thing-the doctor who checked ds asked a lot of questions about imaginative play. Now the talking on the phone sounds to me like he probably has imaginative play. Sorry if this is a red herring, I'm hope someone with more knowlege will correct me!

My son's favourite first toy was the vacuum cleaner, as soon as he could, he crawled off to spin the wheels. He still loves wheels, anything with wheels. If he had been an early talker, I'm sure he would have had his own words for the VC, too. Most boys are enthralled by kinetics & motion. My DS couldn't be more NT. A really happy and bright if stroppy 5yo.

As a toddler/baby, DS was also miserable at nursery, he liked people too much to be happy there. As far as I can make out, autistic kids are often happier in nursery situations than NT kids because autistic kids aren't so needy about forming a close bond with their carers...

Twiglett gave some really good advice. I wonder if you are projecting your own anxieties and childhood angst onto your son unnecessarily...

not true about the bond thing zebra- some autistic kids I know were fextremely clingy, and usually they find it difficult to settle in nursery (different routines etc). Ny friend describes her dd as clinging to her and refusing to let her put her down for the first 2 years. I would say the close bond thing is more important to ds1 than ds2.

I don't think this little boy sounds autistic as he doesn't seem to have any problems. Oddities- possible, but problems? Not appparent yet anyway. The thing with autism is that however high functioning a child is life is very very difficult for them. That's why so many are "expelled' form tumble tots etc - they haven't ;learned to social reference (use other people as a guide to how to behave) so they find it difficult to behave appropriately. DS2 can be abit odd at times, but he has known from a tiny dot that he needs to base his behaviour on that of people around him. DS1 just doesn't have that.

I've been thinking about this bnd thing etc. DS1's NHS SALT when he was in mainstream is an autism specialist- very nice person, but because she works in the NHS has very little actual hands on experience with children with autism. She assesses them and then leaves communication prorgammes. In ds1's case she never assessed him very easily as he would do the whole aloof, not bothering to look at you, you're after something game.

His private SALT (who we no longer have but has become a friend ) saw him every week for about an hour.

She went to visit him in school wiith the NHS SALT. DS1 looked at her, blushed, then grinned and went over to her, climbed on her lap and gave her a big cuuddle. The NHS SALT was astounded as she hadn't realised that DS1 was capable of that. The problem with attending courses and not enough hand on. IME autistic children have people they are very fond of, and those people become very impotant to them. More so than NT children. When my friend's dd's LSA left she was very worried, and her dd did walk around for a few weeks saying "I've lost my xxx" and howling!

One of the books I have on signing with babies recommends "light" and "fan" as good signs for teaching early as most babies are obsessed with lights and fans. DD, who I am really quite convinced is NT, had almost no words at 14 months and at nearly 16 months has well over 20 words but has just gotten "Mama" which she uses for both me and DH. (Apparently we are less important than not only dogs and crackers, but also birds and kiwi fruit.) She says "woof" ALL THE TIME. Well, when she's in a good mood. When she's in a bad mood she sticks to "MINE MINE MINE MINE". No, we do not have a dog. Nonetheless, her idea of small talk is to wake up in the morning and observe "Puppy woof!"

mommysandrine, good to hear the update on your son, who sounds sweet.

On symptoms and anxieties, do you think that you might be focussing only on the negatives? For instance, you must know from your reading that not pointing by 18 months is a "red flag" for autism - but there is your 14-month-old son eagerly pointing away all day long - yes, it's at lights which he finds utterly fascinating, but it's the basic fact that he's pointing - which means that he wants you to share his interest - which is strong evidence that he is essentially fine.

With you as a mother, your ds may be gearing up to be exceptionally bright - have you considered that? I say that because it is well known that early signs of giftedness can be difficult to distinguish from things to worry about - eg, very bright children very often have passionate fascinations with certain things.

Look forward to hearing more!

EEK! Keep away from the internet. I am a paranoid mum too, so I understand how a person can get obsessed and worried. But really, there is nothing at all unusual about a five month old baby doing the things you describe. Nor can a 5 month old baby, in my experience, be expected to have a long attention span. Actually, he sounds pretty advanced for his age (trying to crawl already - my dd did not crawl until she was ten months old). Babies are indeed obsessed with 'things', as you put it in your first post. They want to check everything out and touch everything, and sometimes do really weird things with their little bodies. As for the lack of consonant sounds - give the kid a break! He's only five months! I know a bit about the subject of baby vocalising because my dd was a rather late talker. She did not consistently make da-da-da or ba-ba-ba noises until she was at least ten months old (as far as I can remember) and had no words at all (except maybe 'mum-mum')until twenty months. Now she is two and talks in beautiful and totally understandable sentences,asks questions etc etc - people are always telling me how well she talks for her age. I always laugh inwardly at this praise, since only six months ago my paediatrician was suggesting speech therapy.
If it does seem as though he is taking his time to babble and (much later down the track - he's only five months old!) talk, don't worry too much, so long as he is alert and reasonably friendly. He will probably begin to understand a little of what you say by 12 months, and start pointing out objects between 7-18 months. When it comes to speech development, things like pointing and 'symbolic language' (such as putting a phone to his ear to pretend to talk - but this won't happen for a while yet if he's only a few months old!) are good signs that he's developing normally, even if he doesn't talk. I never worried about my child too much because she could understand me pretty well and had lots of gestures.
Hugs to you and don't worry anymore! Not worth it!

EEK! Keep away from the internet. I am a paranoid mum too, so I understand how a person can get obsessed and worried. But really, there is nothing at all unusual about a five month old baby doing the things you describe. Nor can a 5 month old baby, in my experience, be expected to have a long attention span. Actually, he sounds pretty advanced for his age (trying to crawl already - my dd did not crawl until she was ten months old). Babies are indeed obsessed with 'things', as you put it in your first post. They want to check everything out and touch everything, and sometimes do really weird things with their little bodies. As for the lack of consonant sounds - give the kid a break! He's only five months! I know a bit about the subject of baby vocalising because my dd was a rather late talker. She did not consistently make da-da-da or ba-ba-ba noises until she was at least ten months old (as far as I can remember) and had no words at all (except maybe 'mum-mum')until twenty months. Now she is two and talks in beautiful and totally understandable sentences,asks questions etc etc - people are always telling me how well she talks for her age. I always laugh inwardly at this praise, since only six months ago my paediatrician was suggesting speech therapy.
If it does seem as though he is taking his time to babble and (much later down the track - he's only five months old!) talk, don't worry too much, so long as he is alert and reasonably friendly. He will probably begin to understand a little of what you say by 12 months, and start pointing out objects between 7-18 months. When it comes to speech development, things like pointing and 'symbolic language' (such as putting a phone to his ear to pretend to talk - but this won't happen for a while yet if he's only a few months old!) are good signs that he's developing normally, even if he doesn't talk. I never worried about my child too much because she could understand me pretty well and had lots of gestures.
Hugs to you and don't worry anymore! Not worth it!

hello, ive only just found this thread, i really do sympathis with u mommysandrine, my 8yr old has been diagnosed with aspergers syndrome,when he was a baby i knew"something wasnt right" i was told u r paranoid ur obsessing but when it comes down to your own child a mothers instinct does it for me,trust your own judgment and pester your hv,gp or whoever,i wish i hadnt listened to other people and stuck to my guns,mike could have had help a lot earlier,hope this helps

Yes jenk1 - mother's intuition IS a wonderful thing, and I have no doubt that an observant parent would be able to pick up signs of autism very early. but if you are naturally an anxious person (as am I, and as mommysandrine might well be) you can really convince yourself that there is a problem when this isn't necessarily the case, and lose touch with reality (I hope this does not cause you offense, mommysandrine!). I speak from experience since I harried myself constantly with the idea that my dd was autistic or intellectually disabled simply because she was a late talker, shy with other kids and rather restless. Retrospectively I can see that none of the major signs were there, and that I was basically just being a paranoid fool who over-invested in textbook standards as to child development, If I ever have another child I will not be nearly so worried, I am sure.
Going on what mommysandrine says, there is no 'rational' reason to think her son is autistic, just her own forebodings about his idiosyncrasies. I am not writing these off, but as far as I know, there is no therapeutic intervention available for autistic children under 18 months. If I were you, mommysandrine, I would wait and see and try not to worry! If he gets to be 18 months old and is showing some cardinal signs of autism, such as not pointing at things, avoiding eye contact etc, THEN you can start to worry. In the meantime just enjoy him - he sounds lovely. I know that a significant part of my dd's toddlerhood was marred by my anxiety about her speech delay, and in retrospect I regret this.

Obviously Mum's intuition is very valuable and you should of course keep an eye on anything that worries you, but my ds3 was very like this (especially the interaction bit) and seems to be OK now (he's almost 2), whereas ds1 DIN'T do any of these things, and has Aspergers at 5.