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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Are 4 year olds supposed to go through a mini adolescent crisis?????????????

16 replies

apeainapod · 05/04/2007 16:07

What the hell will the real thing be like. DS1 is Mr Attitude with an enormous A!

Please tell me it's normal....even if you're lying through your teeth!!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Weegle · 05/04/2007 17:50

According to Steve Biddulph's Riasing Boys book, boys have a testosterone surge at 4 so I guess that fits! Call it a dry run?!

Original poster

apeainapod · 05/04/2007 17:53

Ah, I guess I should read the book instead of it sitting upstairs gathering dust. Thank you... I shall read it now.

OP posts:

willywonkasEgghunt · 05/04/2007 17:55

I share you woes, as do several friends. Were all quite smug not to experience the terrible twos but, boy, the bastard fours make up for it...

Original poster

apeainapod · 05/04/2007 18:00

Thanks Willy, it has come out of nowhere. And normally he is so calm, sensitive and adorable - God knows what's going to happen with DS2 who is 4 in 7 months, as he is a real livewire!

OP posts:

Kaz33 · 06/04/2007 17:21

My nearly 4 year old has turned into a nightmare.

Food has become a real issue, trying to get him to sit down and eat anything is a total trauma. He subists on snacks and odd mouthfulls. As he is always hungry that doesn't help his behaviour.

He is hitting, slamming doors and throwing things.

I know that boundaries are required, but DH is a total soft touch and then when he mucks up again i go in much too tough.

Aaaaargh - DS1 could at times be trying but DS2 is much, much worse. Only another year and a half to go before I get my little boy back again.

So you at not alone.

purpleturtle · 06/04/2007 17:45

How can I nominate willywonka's post of yesterday for quote of the week? Made me laugh out loud (in appreciation, you understand)

slim22 · 07/04/2007 08:38

haer hear! one more vote, here.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it's partly due to dads/male figures not being around enough to do all the fun agressive play. I can only enjoy so much wrestling on the gound and kicking a football.....and I suppose at this age DS would rather do that than sit still and do a puzzle....

willywonkasEgghunt · 07/04/2007 14:44

But I've got a DD !!

Original poster

apeainapod · 07/04/2007 18:53

Yes but Slim DH is around - he works from home a lot, cancels his business trips to coincide with the kids - as Willy says - he is just being a little B!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:

Chandra · 07/04/2007 18:58

I was about to mention about the testosterone surge but I see that Weegle beat me to it!

pinkranger · 07/04/2007 18:59

my ds is is 4,5 and is the same!!!

RedLorryYellowLorry · 07/04/2007 19:04

Yes, ds is 4.6 yo and since he turned 4 he has changed. I have put it down to this testosterone surge. He is either manically happy like a puppy or depressed like Kevin the Teenager or angry like Victor Meldrew. I have been excusing it as a phase but am worried it's a personality transformation. His teacher has spoken to me about it twice as he is so boisterous at playtime. Thank god he's only in Nursery! I'll pray for his Reception Teacher

giraffemad · 07/04/2007 21:17

My DS is about to turn 4 in May, and has been having this so called testosterone surge since just before his 3rd birthday!! I am at my wits end, my DH is threatening to leave because of his behaviour! He is angry, violent, and abusive mostly towards me, I have a good discipline strategy that worked well at first, but he keeps pushing the boundaries. We have a "naughty" step, time out in his room, and if these fail removal of favourite toys etc, I don't know what else to do.... Please help before I go mad... or worse

Pitchounette · 07/04/2007 21:22

Message withdrawn

giraffemad · 07/04/2007 21:26

I hope so, we're supposed to be going on holiday on Monday, don't even know if DH is coming with us! He has a very short fuse at times and I know DS is learning things from him ie smashing things up when he's angry!!

lillochum · 07/04/2007 21:37

Yup, 4yr old boys are definitely tough going - harder than the girls. My son (3rd child),is a terrible control freak - gotta be the leader, won't eat what he doesn't fancy, won't do what he is asked..etc etc He is getting a bit big to throw across my shoulder to cart away from playgroup or whatever too! Some of the time at least my own energy levels and the circumstances enable me to use devious means - a bit of psychology - to win the day, or else rank bribery. DH just tries to force the issue and impose his will, and the two are like bulls head to head over the most trivial things sometimes too - a painful business which gets nowhere so far as I can see. Mind you that isn't new - he wouldn't sign "thank you" when DH insisted before he could talk, would turn to face you if you tried to play chase him, (still does that)etc. I could go on, but I guess that's enough - can't they be a pain sometimes!

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