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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Naughty step just not working is it me or is there a better method for a 2yo

62 replies

rebelmum1 · 05/04/2007 15:55

It's just plain not working, dd thinks its funny and runs away and it gets really stressful she just thinks i want her to say sorry.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Aloha · 05/04/2007 16:20

Tantrums very often triggered by being over tired or hungry, or my being impatient or snappy. If I have to do something and she doesn't want to and cries and resists, but I have no choice, I just pick her up and carry on. I don't punish her. The only times she has got completely upset is when I have let her get too tired or failed to give enough warning that something is coming to an end, so it's much more my fault than hers, so why should she be punished.
Distraction & prevention really is key at that age, plus ignoring 'bad' behaviour and praising 'good'.

Porpoise · 05/04/2007 16:20

Tantrums: if they're deliberate ones, just to make a scene/wind you up, try to ignore them completely - walk away.
If they're the result of frustration (she's trying to do something/tell you something but can't) or tiredness, a good long hug is often all it takes

justaphase · 05/04/2007 16:23

agree with Aloha

my 18 mo yesterday poured a bottle of water on the carpet while looking at me and saying no-no-no-no-no

my fault for leaving the bottle where he could reach it

Original poster

rebelmum1 · 05/04/2007 16:24

thanks that's great advice, batting on with something that plainly isn't working was driving us both mad. She was so well behaved recently i thought i'd missed the two's but alas no.

OP posts:

Aloha · 05/04/2007 16:25

I think most of us have found ourself in a stand off with a two year old and thought later, 'what WAS I thinking of?'
They are mad as snakes, wildly impulsive, no sense and designed to be totally nosy and experimental. We have to work round it!

Original poster

rebelmum1 · 05/04/2007 16:26

she climbs so putting things out of reach is tricky she just goes and gets a chair!

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Original poster

rebelmum1 · 05/04/2007 16:26

I'm just going to stop baking for a bit

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Aloha · 05/04/2007 16:27

Get her involved? Takes blooming ages and it is a bit chaotic but my dd loves it.

Aloha · 05/04/2007 16:27

She can crack eggs now, which I think is v impressive for only just two.

Porpoise · 05/04/2007 16:28

Oh yes indeedy. mad as mad snakes!
I find it helps to pretend to be Mrs Super Calm (note the 'pretend'!)
They seem to kick off far less often when you are quite unruffled (or seem to be0

Porpoise · 05/04/2007 16:30

And then you get to the point when they make cakes for you. As Ds1 (aged 8) did yesterday.
Not exactly edible but still...

Original poster

rebelmum1 · 05/04/2007 16:31

yes i definitely need that calm exterior, think she can pick up when i'm under the weather.

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Porpoise · 05/04/2007 16:34

ooh - and ALWAYS assume everything (including baking!) is going to take at least twice as long as it would if you were on your own.
that way, you don't get so stressed by the clock.
So, say you need to get the the doctor's and it's 10 minutes' walk away. Set out at least 20 minutes before the appointment. Then if she does that toddler dawdle, you can join in and make it fun, rather than get het up about missing the appointment.

Lazycow · 05/04/2007 16:40

I agree with Alohas posts. I don't agree with the naughty step/corner and have tried not to use it with my 2.4 year old ds. However I did crack the other day when he repeatedly threw toys and hit at another child despite my requests to stop and attempts to distract him. He finally stopped looked at me and threw a toy at me.

I cracked and did put him in the corner and make him stay there for a short time but that was mostly for the benfit of the other mother so she would 'see that I wasn't letting him get away with it'

I'm not proud of that but I have to be honest and say that is the truth. If I had been at home I would not have used the naughty corner but probably just taken all the toys he was throwing away until he calmed down.

It's awful really how I do stuff to seem like a better mother to others - I'm not really sure what else I could have done when other than go home with him and we had only just arrived and I didn't want to go home.

Lazycow · 05/04/2007 16:41

Oh yes I let ds crack eggs for the cake - not that we end up eating the cake though Too many unretrievable egg shell bits!

Aloha · 05/04/2007 16:42

I think hitting is quite important to crack down on and some ignoring or putting briefly out of the room is a good idea IMO. You don't have to go mad and get out the coat hangers, but some being serious and stern is good when other people are getting hurt.

VoluptuaGoodshag · 05/04/2007 16:43

I hate that feeling of everyone's eyes on you as soon as your child steps out of line.

Porpoise · 05/04/2007 16:44

Yes but they're probably thinking, 'Yikes, what would I do if that was me?'

Original poster

rebelmum1 · 05/04/2007 16:53

baking's out of the question just now as she has demolished all flour for our easter bunnies and I'm not going to the smarket over easter. she ate my mday chocs took chair and climbed on to work top and scoffed them, i came in and her cheeks were bulging..

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Original poster

rebelmum1 · 05/04/2007 16:54

oh the public humiliation is the worst

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Lazycow · 05/04/2007 16:57

lol at bulging cheeks

Original poster

rebelmum1 · 05/04/2007 16:58

she knew fine well that she wasn't allowed them, she was crying and then it just went quiet..

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Porpoise · 05/04/2007 17:00

she'll go far, that one, rebelmum1!
she's obviously a smart little cookie (oops, sorry for the baking reference)

Original poster

rebelmum1 · 05/04/2007 17:05

she running circles around me, knows when i'm telling fibs and remembers everything I say ..

OP posts:

colditz · 05/04/2007 17:21

It's another case of expecting too much too young.

she does not have the correct impulse control to not eat chocolate that is within her reach, because she is two.

she wanted to know what would happen if she emptied 3 bags of flour - because she is two.

All her behavior is because she is two, not because you are crap or she is naughty, it's because she is two.

Move things out of her way and put locks on everything. stairgate on the kitchen door.

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