At what age are regular tantrums no longer 'normal'?

[AuntyQuated]

over trivia too?

5? 7? 9? 11? 13? (but then hormones quick in and trivia becomes significant, so these don't count)

I would have thought that regulare tantrums over silly things would probably have abated by age 5 or 6.

having said that I know of an 8 yr old that throws more tantrums (and in the same way, kicking and screaming on the floor) than my 2 yr old(2 on tuesday)

I know a girl who regularly tantrums if she doesn't get her own way.

She is 27

(sorry not much help to you)

I have a 6yo, and I would say that tantrums beyond about 6 or 7 are probably more about the child's relationship with his or her parents (or other adults) than about being unable to moderate their own behaviour. To my mind, 'normal' tantrums are about being too young to control your emotions.

we have been very lucky in that neither of our two DC have had tantrums at all.
but yesterday spent the afternoon with an almost 11 yaer old who had a major tantrum because there weren't enough swings and she had to let someone else have a turn. then had a big argurment,almost tantrum, over who was going to be the leader of the walk.
i was jsut wondering if this was normal or not. thinking aloud really.

My DH's DD was throwing them until about 4weeks ago (7). She has calmed down a lot now, don't know why or how, maybe the consistency we had of not giving in to them, and telling her that tears and trantrums get nothing in our house. Or maybe she's just on a break

My DS! (8) still has tantrums, but these days only has them at home ( doasn't throw himself on floor etc., but trashes his bedroom, dents the walls with thrown objects - wouldn't dare have one in public. DS2(nearly 4) will still kick up a stink out and about.

17 year old DD has spectacular tantrums - 4 year old DS3 can't begin to compete!

I can't comment on other people's children but I know that both of mine went through the "normal" tantrum phases at around 2-3. Then recently my now 6 yo DD started having tantrums again. A little argument or telling off would result in crying, screaming, tears, throwing herself on her bed. For example, "DD you dropped your fork on the floor, please pick it up and put it back on the table". "WHY DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYRTHING, IT'S NOT MY FAULT THE FORK IS ON THE FLOOR, I'M NOT GOING TO PICK IT UP, YOU PICK IT UP FOR ME, I DON'T HAVE TO DO WHAT YOU SAY......... ETC, ETC" Followed by tears streaming down her face, lots of foot stamping and eventually being sent to her room to calm down which could take up to 1/2 hour.

But as she was nearly 6 at the time I felt this behaviour was not acceptable. We talked about finding other ways of expressing her feelings, about not making such a big deal out of little incidents and about trying to act more "grown up". We promised her she would be allowed to stay up late on a Saturday night if she could try and control her tantrums during the week. We saw a huge improvment almost straight away and the tantrums were virtually gone withing a few weeks.

So my feeling is that tantrums beyond a certain age probably can and should be controlled in a way that you wouldn't necessarily do with a toddler.

DD1 is 9 and once every 2 -3 months she loses the plot completely. This, as a toddler used to take up 4-5 hours of a day
She is a perfectly behaved child the rest of the time and the once every 50-60 days tantrum/screaming/loss of control balances her behaviour the rest the time, I think.
DD2 didnt have toddler tantrums but at 6 is a stroppy burst into tears over nothing sort.

unless the child has, for eg, asd then probably 5/6ish. about the age that you become able to talk to them and they are better able to reason and articulate their feelings, of course if they have learned that tantrums will get them their own way or bucketloads of attention, then they will never grow out of it!