should i be worried about my 3 year old at nursery?

[GinnyBaker]

My DS started nursery last week. It is 9am-11:30am m-fri.

The teacher thinks he is doing great says they have never had a child who has adapted so well, and goes in like a trooper, no complaints, no crying etc.

But at home he seems sad and quiet, not quite himself. Also, he was toilet trained at 2.5 with no issues, and since Friday he has had an accident every day. I did think he was forgetting to go at nursery, but today he had an accident at lunchtime and then this afternoon, we were together playing with his wooden blocks and he wet himself again, not saying anything, and I was sat next to him.

Don't know if I'm being PFB or not, I feel as though maybe he is trying to tell me he is distressed? He is a late august birthday, now I'm wondering if maybe he is just too young.

Anyone?

I think it's pretty normal for them to regress with toilet training when they undergo a big change, certainly it's been my experience with DD1 (also 3yo). Just because he's putting on a brave face, or even if he genuinely is really enjoying it, doesn't mean it isn't a huge adjustment. DD1 trained at 21mo but we have regressed when DD2 arrived, when she started preschool (despite being used to going to a childminder for a year before starting), and at a couple of big developmental leaps. He's not been going very long and is still adjusting. I'd try and ride it out with plenty of praise for getting it right. If no improvement in another week or so I'd break out the big guns (stickers/choc buttons).

As for being too young, preschools (certainly around here) take them from the term after their second birthday (DD1 was 2.3yo when she started) so at 3yo he shouldn't be too young.

watching with interest Ginny as I'm experiencing the same thing with my three year old at the moment - new to nursery, and now challenging behaviour at home including regression with toilet training. Mine is happy to go to nursery when we get there, but whenever we discuss it at home, says "I don't like nursery" and "I don't want to talk about it" and appears quite stressed and anxious.

I know how you feel - its hard to think that they're not happy and they're stuck there!

Similar situation here. DD (2.9) just started at playgroup a few mornings a week. Loves it, settled in quickly etc but her sleep has gone to hell. Had me up several times a night over he past week saying "I'm finding playgroup hard. I don't want to go. I don't want to be left there without daddy."

Its such a big adjustment for them at this age, I guess it's normal to regress in some areas. We spend lots of time talking about playgroup, how it's okay to find it difficult etc. I think all we can do is acknowledge the feelings ubtilnit becomes the new normal. I'll be so relieved to get a full nights sleep again though. 25 weeks pregnant so finding the night wakings particularly tough.

Thanks for the replies,

Piglet, I've upped the praise for going etc in the hope this might help him settle in.He was dry yesterday but we prompted him a lot, which might be what he needs in the short term.

Glummy, last night he also said he didn't want to go. I didn't really know what to say, as I feel its early days, so I explained we wanted him to go so he could make some friends and learn how to play together. He seemed to take this on board.

Unfortunately he grabbed another child yesterday and left a mark on their face..... teacher says its normal, they are just learning etc, obviously we were mortified.

The thing is I can see how it would happen because when he is with me if he looks like he's going to snatch a toy, not share etc, i'll intervene before it happens and prompt him to share etc, and of course now I'm not there to do so, he just carried on. If I was the other mum I would not be happy. Will be at the school gates today, and they wouldn't tell us which child so we can't apologise.

Silver, really useful what you say about telling them its ok to find it hard, hope you get some sleep soon, there is no tiredness like pg tiredness!

I hope they all have a better day today. Only 2 till the weekend!