6.5 year old boy, refusing to do anything . End of tether help..

[Tattybogle89]

Hi
My son is 6.5 and big for his age,really intelligent and very sensitive.
He can be so lovely.
Lately his behaviour is at a point I've hit a brick wall.

Examples:
He refuses to get dressed, or put shoes on, or brush teeth, or get in shower. Pretty much anything he thinks I want\need him to do.
Control issue? He does like to be in control?

I am six months pregnant and struggling with him these last few weeks.

He has started refusing to get into bed and running round the house laughing in my face , being massively cheeky and rude, and saying he doesn't care about consequences. Which is where I am stumped..

This morning he ate his breakfast, and when it came to get dressed time he refused. There wasn't a lot of time before the school bell. He ran around taking off any clohes I put on him: he wouldn't put any on himself.
I got "what you going to do mummy" and smirks laughs and "catch me first" etc
Turning it to a laugh.. it wasn't. I can't wrestle with him anymore as he is not too careful of my bump.
The threat of me speaking with a teacher did nothing (a year ago it would have)
And when I told him he has lost the tv and iPad if he does not get dressed in 5 minutes, he waited and then said "oh well I've lost it now so no point in doing as I'm told -still not getting dressed then"

I had to physically dress him while he fought and got him to school five mins late without his teeth brushed.
Feel like the worst parent in the world.

I've put the tv in a cupboard. And I know he will come in and kick off because it's not here. And in his words "it's not worth doing what you say when I've lost everything anyway.."
This leaves me stumped .

I don't believe in hitting but have resorted to shouting a lot. It doesn't work. But I'm left scratching my head really.

He gets time as a family. And one on one time with each of us aswell. He just flips a switch when he decides and there is zero reasoning.

He is perfect at school! Has never had a telling off, is above his classmates with work and has reading ability of a ten year old they told me. (He does admit school is boring.. not sure how I can help that though)

Sorry for the long post.

Trying not to stress baby out but I'm due in November and if this continues I have no idea how to force him to bed and school while dealing with a newborn aswell!

On a side note he was delighted I am pregnant and seems excited to have a sibling, talks about baby a lot etc..

Hope you made it to the end and I get some replies.. thank you x

Also, I used to be able to send him to his room as punishment . But he just says no and won't go. I can't lift him .. and he just smirks and refuses.. so not sure I can do time out anymore

Bump

Sounds like he might be feeling a bit nervous and discombobulated at home - he's aware of the coming change of a new baby and your pregnancy and is reacting a bit to it? His behaviour sounds annoying rather than seriously worrying, maybe looking for attention and reassurance at key times like bedtimes and going to school times?

So, how about going back to basics with him? If the punishments aren't working then they're probably doing more harm than good, just making both of you miserable. So how about ignoring a lot of the nonsense and having a nice comforting routine at bedtime, so that after he's got his pyjamas on and done his teeth he gets story time in bed? Then instead of him jumping out of bed you could give him a goodnight kiss and try the "stay in bed, I'll back to kiss you good night in two minutes", then come back in two minutes and repeat saying three minutes, then five, then 10?

Give him lots of praise and attention for everything he does that's helpful or good or even ordinary! And encourage him to get ready for school by telling him you're looking forward to driving in the car with him / walking him to school. Use a bit of bribery if you like - the kind where he only gets the bribe after he's done whatever you asked him to do, and he gets lots of praise and compliments as well. Ten minutes in front of the telly with you if he's dressed and ready on time, or a sticker chart for a little prize (with lots of praise) for brushing his teeth nicely or whatever.

So lots of positive encouragement and rewards when he does the right thing rather than threats or taking things away. It may be worth spending extra little bits of time with him at those key times rather than have him get your attention in a bad way by being silly or naughty.