Meal times are very very difficult-help!?

[user1480288424]

Hello,

This is my first time posting on mumsnet so don't even know if this is the right box to type into! Ok- this is the issue: I have a 4 year old girl who is currently in the process of a possible diagnosis for ASD. It has been going on for over 18 months and they think now they will suggest a working diagnosis and see how she gets on in her first term at school. One of her main difficulties is finding the noise of crying unbearable. She is effected greatly by both the sound and the emotion of it and become very sad and crys. I have another daughter who is one next month. Anyhoo meal times have become hell- my 4 year old eats a very limited diet and I am trying to get 1 year old to eat varied diet so I am already preparing 2 meals. But at every meal my one year old just screams and chucks all food on the floor. I initially tried traditional weening but she refused to open her mouth so went on to blw. On a good meal she may eat 2 spoonfuls of something I have cooked and a stick of cucumber. And then she get loud and then 4 year old starts crying and then today I just joined in the crying which made 4 year old cry even more. This is happening 3 times a day, every day and I am loosing will and my mind and feeling like I can't go on like this. I am currently still breast feeding- before night, once in night, when she wakes and once in the day at some point. What I would love is some advise would be wonderful. Thank you son much for taking the time to read this. Xxxx

I guess it would take way too much time to feed them separately? It sounds really tough, I hope you find a way to sort it.

You sound like you're having a really rough time. I had a LO with really terrible reflux (he's still often ill and is nearly 3!) and so would hardly eat. Meal times were very tough. He wouldn't eat very much at all and often if he was ill would stop eating altogether. Have you maybe tried to keep your younger dd entertained with a reading a story or song book during meal times? We used to sit and read all sorts of books and as he got enthusiastic I'd be able to feed him (very very) slowly. It may help entertain your older dd too - could have a rotation so they could each chose one for you to read?

Either way hope you've had a better day today.

What foods will your 4 year old eat op? Could you make a basic meal of the things she will eat and add to it for your 1 year old? So things like wraps with 'safe' food and then a bowl of extras?

Have you considered night weaning? Not feeding in the night might encourage more food in the day so at least she is occupied and focused on her food for longer and therefore less likely to cry and upset her sister.

Thank you so much for your reply- I am going to stop night feeding from today I think. Also I think until older one starts school next week I am going to feed them separately. Just knowing some of you replied helps my stresses- it can be desperately lonely sometimes. Older one eats pasta, bread, cheese, ham and raw veg but all separately- yes I could add those to a sauce for the baby. Thank you. Feeling armed and prepared for supper. Xxxx

a friend of mine with a tricky feeding youngster also does a touching plate - which is liturally stuff she wouldn't eat but its about familiarisation especially if its about texture and feel in the mouth. There is no pressure to eat it just get a feel of it even down to place a finger on it to start with. But yes to combining food for the two of them, yes to separate feeding regimes for a bit till 1 yr old gets over the chuck it stage. Good Luck