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Toddler epic tantrums help

5 replies

Toddlerdramas · 25/08/2017 10:21

I'm wondering if anyone has got any ideas how to resolve these epic toddler tantrums. Ds is 2 years old and these are fairly common themes.

Problem 1. He refuses to sit in a supermarket trolley. I've tried being firm and just making him, telling him beforehand he's got to, he climbs out, screams the whole way round. I've tried ringing a toy or book, I've tried giving him something different to hold from the supermarket. I've even tried giving him a tablet to watch. I've tried giving him a snack to eat. None of it works. I never shop when he's tired or any of that. I know I could only shop online, but I've never known a child that doesn't love sitting in the trolley.

He'll occasionally sit in his buggy but sometimes I have the same problem. Also means I can only fill a basket full.

Problem 2, attachment to things. For example this morning I tried to wash his quilt. He saw me put it in the machine resulting in 20 minutes of screaming and crying, first trying to drag it back out then trying to open the washing machine door. I removed him from the kitchen but he kept screaming at the door.

I tried explaining that it's having a wash and will be back later, I tried to comfort him, distract him with other things, but he didn't stop.

This could be the same scenario over anything.

Now he's just had another tantrum. He got my car keys and was trying to post them out the door letterbox. I took them away and put them in a safe place, followed by a huge screaming tantrum and him following me round trying to drag me to get the keys which I ignored and just kept saying no. Then he hit me with the tv remote, which I moved out of his way, so that made him worse. He's eventually let me pick him up and cuddle him into calming down. He gets where he's gasping for breath.

Leaving the park. I regularly take the dc to the park, of course toddler ds doesn't want to leave, I try to give him warning 'one last go' type thing. He still kicks off hen we leave, trouble is he's big and solid and I can barely carry him when he's arching his back and throwing himself around.

He won't let his older brother do anything. If I'm sitting down with the toddler and his big brother sits next to us he'll scream and kick and push him away.

I know these type of tantrums and frustration can be normal, but he's so strong willed, he's big strong and heavy, he's loud and is a climber who can escape from anything.

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MessyBun247 · 25/08/2017 13:02

Its all pretty normal unfortunately. My DD is 19months and hasnt sat in a trolley since she was about 10 months, she just pulled herself out. Loads of toddlers wont sit in trolleys, you just dont see many of them cus the parents shop online!

Its really hard work but theres a reason its called 'terrible 2s'. Just explain things to him as best you can, distract, and be firm eg leaving the park. Oh.....and drink wine Grin

Toddlerdramas · 25/08/2017 14:35

Thank you for replying.

I don't remember my eldest having such tantrums, perhaps I've blocked it out!

Love him to bits but he wears me out at times.

OP posts:
MessyBun247 · 25/08/2017 16:57

My eldest was a lot more placid too, she didnt really tantrum much at all. Totally sympathize with the worn out feeling.

Its just a phase, its just a phase Smile

TeaTeaTea · 26/08/2017 10:14

My DS is slightly younger at 21 months but we've experienced a lot of what you've described. He won't stay in his pushchair (can unclip it now) without a bribe so, likewise, shopping is basket only - at a run!
If the tantrum is pretty epic I will cuddle my toddler and comfort him and found sometimes they need this more than the thing they're tantruming over, it's like their emotions spiral and they just can't get out of the whirlwind to calm down.
If it's a case of wanting the keys to get out (which you obviously don't want them to do) and DS has a tantrum I'll acknowledge it but will leave him to hash it out on the floor while I step back having calming explained - he needs to know that the keys aren't for him.

In regards to the duvet washing - can you buy another one exactly the same? So wash the dirty one but quickly put the 'same' clean one back on? Not quite had this sceanario but DS nearly had a tantrum at bedtime when saw he had Thomas Tank engine cover and demanded the dog one.... (personally I thought he liked Thomas better but what do I know, I'm only his mother...Grin)

You are doing all that I've done, you just have a strong willed toddler - great for the future, just not easy now! Sympathies and wine Wine

Winterview · 02/09/2017 09:25

Very normal. My 2 year old sometimes tantrums over the trolley, I use her reins to make a secure harness (so she can't jump out!) and bribe her with a snack. I also pad the back of the seat with a coat to make it more comfortable. We do online shops mostly.

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