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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Sleep problems 6 wks

17 replies

nsl · 31/03/2007 22:56

My DS is 6 wks old and we've had problems settling him to sleep from the start. Until this week we managed by letting him sleep on one of us for 20 mins (recommended by a b/f counsellor) or rocking him with a hand on his tummy. This week his colic appears to have got much better but he is refusing to sleep in the carrycot most of the time and the moses basket at all. I've tried leaving him to cry for 5 mins and then giving him the dummy and then leaving him to cry for another 5 mins before picking him up. The only way which works other than sleeping on me or my husband is if I feed him lying down and he falls asleep next to me. The only problem then is that occasionally I can transfer him to his bed but often he wakes up and then we have to start again. I slept with him one night because we'd got to 3am w/out more than 5 mins sleep from him but I'm really uncomfy having him sleep next to me. Has anyone got any suggestions on how to get him to sleep in his own bed. This is a problem both at day and night.
Please help!!!!!

OP posts:

mumtogusnalbie · 31/03/2007 23:02

Hi NSL - really feel for you because sleep deprivation is awful but at 6 weeks old I don't think that you can expect too much.

I co-slept with both of my boys from the start so can't really give you any advice apart from co-sleeping worked for me.

Good luck
xx

Dragonhart · 31/03/2007 23:06

Have you tried the baby whisperer shh-pat method? I have used it on both my children and it has worked for me? Took about a week to get dd2 (12 weeks now but I think I did it at about 8 weeks) to go to sleep on her own in her crib. Was a hard week but worth it! It doesnt involve controlled crying which I have always found so hard too.

Also do you swaddle him?

TheShopaholic · 31/03/2007 23:13

Our dd was a nightmare to get to sleep (up to an 2 hours at a time) then back to sleep after a night feed. At 6 weeks we discovered sleeping bags and we haven't looked back. It meant that she was cosy before being put to bed and didn't get cold when taken out of the carrycot during the night. Worth a try?

seeker · 31/03/2007 23:19

The really important thing to remember is that with tiny babies everything is a phase and it will pass. Honestly.

It's no use leaving him to cry at this age (or, IMHO at any age - bit that's another thread!) At this age, all his wants are needs, and the best thing to do for everyone is to meet them as quickly and easily as possible. And if having him in bed with you means that everyone gets more sleep then go for it. And I know everyone says sleep when they sleep, but it's really good advice,a nd if you can, do it. Even if you don't want to sleep with him at night, then during the day take him into your bed and doze or read or watch trashy telly while he sleeps. And remember, nothing that works is wrong! Take care - I hope you're asleep now.

imahappybunny · 31/03/2007 23:30

i find that ds has settled easier in the past with my top that id worn that day tucked into the cot, have also co- slept though x

chipmonkey · 01/04/2007 00:03

nsl, I'm afraid your 6 week old is entirely normal! But I promise you it will get better!

Original poster

nsl · 01/04/2007 00:25

Ds hates being swaddled. He kicks off the blanket when I do it although he's ok with a sheet loosely wrapped around him. I'll try the clothes smelling of me tip. What is the baby whisperer method?

OP posts:

midnightexpress · 01/04/2007 08:56

I agree about the sleeping bag, especially if he doesn't like being swaddled. Also, don't worry that you'll have ds in with you for ever if you co-sleep for a wee while. My quite colicky ds2 was a bit like your for the first few weeks. He is 10 weeks now and we co-slept for the first 7 or 8 weeks while he was waking often and he now goes into his carrycot without any problems most nights.

gingerninja · 01/04/2007 21:10

nsl, your six week old doesn't have a problem, they're all like that . Mine DD didn't start settling down until about 13/14 weeks. IMO I wouldn't leave a 6 week old to cry, he's still very young and at that age they feed frequently, have bad wind and are generally unhappy about being put down. Can you get a soft sling and carry him around during the day? I think the thing that made it easier for me was to not fight it. If he's happier sleeping with you, being held by you then I'd say go with it, you'll feel much more relaxed.

The only thing I could suggest about night time if you're not happy about co-sleeping is to lay a sheet or sheepskin or something under him when you feed and lift the whole thing up when transfering him. I'd also recommend swaddling if you could. They don't appear to like it at first but their arms waving about actually wakes them, they're so used too being in a confined space.

boysontoast · 01/04/2007 21:22

i never got any of mine to sleep in their own cots/cribs/ etc - despite trying various designs and types... in the end, they all slept in the bed with me for a fair while.

if sleeping w you, have you thought of putting one of those side guards on your bed, your side? that way they can sleep on the outside of you and your dp and you feel less worried he'll get squashed?

grobags/sleepingbags worked wonders for my ds1, when he did go into a cot (at about 5 months IIRC)

nothing worked on ds2 so i wont go into that!!

but ds3 hates grobags...and i discovered that fleecy suits ovewr his jammies do the same job (of keeping him warm) but without him feeling all caught up in the blankets (hes a wriggler big time)

i tell you what though, 6 weeks is v v young but is also a long time for you to have gone w/out sleep... if you need to co-sleep to get some rest, i'd advise you do it. or go nuts. its always an option i guess...

chocolateface · 01/04/2007 21:22

THE HAPPIEST BABY by HARVEY KARP (or it might be CARP) might be usefull - I'm not sure who it's published by as I can't find my copy right now.
Some little ones (I think esspecially boys) like to be held a lot.My DS1 did, and I know how difficult it is to co-sleep with a tiny baby. (I did give in later).

gingernutlover · 02/04/2007 08:28

dd was like this ans still is and I know I will get shot down but the only way for her to go to sleep (if I had tried everything else and was convince she was overtired) was to let her cry it out. The first couple of times it took 10-15minutes. i know this sounds cruel but it used to take up to 2 hours for her to fall asleep on me or dh - scrweaming the whole time, so actually I felt that laying her down in a nice comfy moses basket and just busying around near her so she could her/see me was actually kinder, On me and her!

I just used to try to make sure it was actually tiredness. After a couple more weeks you will get to know anyway.

It really did save my sanity to know that it was OKAY to put her down and leave her to it for a bit.

Retreats and waits to be shot down.

gingernutlover · 02/04/2007 08:38

should add that within 2-3 days it wqas taking less thatn 10 mins and within a couple of weeks as I got to notice the digns of tiredness - five mins or less, then very soon after, she just seemed to understand that cot meant sleep and no tears unless I let her get overtired. She still will not go to sleep on anyone, just in cot or car or buggy, she just didnt seem to be able to relax whehn being interacted with

Dragonhart · 02/04/2007 10:59

I found this on another thread but it gives you an idea of what to do for the shh-pat;

"Start by winding down gently to naptime/bed time. Swa ddle him and sit somewhere quiet and dark with your baby for a few minutes before lying him down.

When he starts to cry, pick him up and calm him down completely before you lay him back down. Put him back in the cot, roll him slightly on to his side,facing away from you so that you have access to his back and pat him rhythmicly on the back while saying shhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh. Continue to pat and ?shhh? for at least 7-10 minutes after he has calmed down. Don?t stop the minute he is quiet, keep going but gradually slow down the patting and make the ?shhh? quieter. It may take you twenty minutes before you get him to sleep. "

I have to say, I have never liked to leave either of mine to cry, but have found that they sometimes sort of croon themselves to sleep. Not crying but kind of rhythmic wingy noise (sorry- not sure how to describe it).

As everone has said though- 6 weeks is pretty you so whatever works for you is the right thing. xxx

Dragonhart · 02/04/2007 11:03

Oh and the first few nights I did it, it took most of the evening, but each night it got better then after a week I didnt have shh pat her, I just hold her until her eyes are heavy and put her down.

gingernutlover · 02/04/2007 14:12

thanks dragon hart that is kinda what I meant, she used to croon her self to sleep - it wasnt like proper crying

Dragonhart · 02/04/2007 19:16

Yes, sounded the same gingernut. DS1 started to do it again when he was about 5 1/2 months when we moved him into his own room. Like you said for about 10-15 mins.

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