Autism! This word is killing me bit by bit everyday.

[Endlessworries]

Today 09:19 Endlessworries

Hi all, would anyone here give me any information (both positive & negative) about early signs of Autism & later outcomes?
My 5.5 month old is very passive! Poor eye contact (rarely looks at us)
Rarely laughs. Stiffens his legs & arms all the time with no apparent reason.
Not many conversational noises. Although, screams when upset.
Gets very upset in new surroundings.
Hate being in car at night.
Won't feed well.
Doesn't try to reach out for things.
Cries for no apparent reason. Throws himself back when we try to cuddle him. Pushes us with legs & arms.
I am seeing a child psychologist. She said we have to take a "wait & watch approach". This is killing me. I see myself sinking into a dark hole everyday. I can't describe this feeling in words.
Any chances that these signs could disappear and he will become a normal happy child one day..!?
Anyone here had these signs in a typically developing baby?
Your replies will be much appreciated.

5.5 months is very young to show signs I think. When my son was that age he was suffering terribly with reflux and did the leg and arm stiffening thing. He also threw himself backwards whenever I would try to hold him a lot. I never worked out if that was due to reflux or him just being a dramatic baby. :) He didn't laugh too much either as he was normally busy being sick or crying. He didn't make conversational noises at that age either. But now he is 7 nearly 8 months and although he still has reflux he is much much happier. He smiles and laughs a lot now, he still stiffens and throws himself backwards when either upset or uncomfortable and has just started making a few babbling noises like "mamamama" and "babababa". They change so fast! I remember being so worried he may have had autism as he was late to smile and make eye contact and then woosh, he's doing it. I would give it a few more months and I'm sure he will start giving you lots of big smiles and belly laughs. Maybe look into the possibility of silent reflux? Also, maybe him hating being in the car at night could be that he is just tired? My son would never go to sleep in a carseat so if we were out past bedtime for whatever reason he'd get very upset as he couldn't sleep in his own cot.

To me, this sounds like it may be more of a problem with anxiety (yours) than development (your child's). Have you considered having an assessment done for anxiety? This is not a normal level to obsess over a 5.5 month old's development (which sounds pretty much within normal ranges). You may have PND or anxiety that is clouding your judgment and making you catastrophize. Years from now, whether your child turns out perfectly normal or not, will you really be glad you spent these months worried and anxious instead of getting in all the quality time with him you can?

Part of your child's reaction may also be that he sees you are anxious and nervous about his behavior all the time. Many babies are more reluctant to relax into a cuddle when they detect something is emotionally "off." If you are constantly tense and this anxiety is "killing you bit by bit," I'd be shocked if it's not rubbing off on the baby.

Thanks so much for your reply. He does have reflux (currently treated with meds). I hope he turns out to be a normal happy little boy. Your reply has really helped me a lot😊.

I also agree a little with what WombOfOnesOwn said about PND as I suffered with that and one of the main things for me was obsessing that something was wrong with my son. I had terrible anxiety and stressed out that everything was wrong with him. It was definitely a case of the problem was with me and not him. :) I know it is easier said than done but try to keep that in mind. Perhaps you could talk to someone about how you are feeling? Sometimes I found that getting my worries off my chest (no matter how embarrassed I was about them) would really help with how anxious I was about it and I'd relax a little bit.

My ds1 had terrible eye contact (would actively look away from me and never stared at faces like every other baby I saw seemed to). He also pushed away with his arms and seemed to hate cuddles. He was a late talker too and didn't say a word til after 2. I worried too. He is now 11 and is absolutely fine. In fact he is far more affectionate and cuddly than my other dc.
But I agree with pp. You sound so anxious. You can't do anything at this stage about your ds and whether it turns out he is autistic or not, you will love him and these early days will still be precious to look back on. If you can - try not to worry (easier said than done I know!!).

Thank you so much for replying to this post.
I currently take meds for PND. I might have anxiety going around aswell.
Also, I keep comparing DS2 to DS1 (now 5). Although ds1 suffered from multiple injuries (2 strokes, fractures & seizures) during birth; yet, he had brilliant eye contact & was following our gaze & babbling by 6 months! I learnt all the signs of autism & other conditions while DS1 was receiving early intervention (stopped @12months). I am seeing most of those signs in ds2. May be I need to stop looking for bad signs and let him grow at his own pace.