My 13 YO has always been very strong minded and difficult to handle.
She is achieving well at school, polite to other adults & family (must have done something right) but she can be appalling at home (a lot). I can't discuss anything with her without her getting angry, walking away from me or shouting, she is very rude to me and DH. Historically I've picked my battles carefully with her as she hasn't been an easy child but I think this has resulted in her getting away with a lot, but it was how we managed her.
Somewhere inside is a loving girl.
She is kind and funny. She has not allowed me to have any physical connection with her for nearly a year. She will push me away if I try to cuddle, kiss or even just hold her arms whilst we talk, she says she's too grown up for this..
I am very concerned about the amount of time she is spending watching movies & on her phone. I ask her to stop but this is met with aggressive loud protests.
This morning I have suggested that we do something together with my other DD, suggested the three of us go into town, shopping, lunch or anything else she could suggest. She has refused angrily telling me she doesn't want to come, doesn't want to spend time with me, would rather stay at home doing her summer homework (she has a fair amount) said I should stop talking to her as she doesn't like my annoying voice, doesn't want me in her space, I could go on. It is like this when I suggest anything.
She was like this on Saturday when DH suggested we went out, so we went without her, which makes me feel guilty.
It is so waring. I am worried she is permanently going to be like this, my eldest DD is nothing like this.
Is it ok to leave her to get on with her own thing or should I battle it out and insist which will leave me feeling upset, angry and will ruin the day anyway... I want her to turn out to be a nice adult and for us to have a loving relationship.
Sorry for such a long post.