very unhappy 20 week old.

[ashleexex]

It's me again!
I told myself I'd stop posting on here when I'm overtired and low but I can't help it. My GP says everything is 'normal' (if there is such a thing) and HV just never says anything.

My 20 week old never seems happy. He has his smiles and laughter times but they're very few and sometimes rare unless I'm just constantly at his attention.
He just cries nothing will entertain him for more than 5 mins. I can't do anything in the house or even for myself. I have to wait until someone can help for me to leave and just have a shower. He wakes up from a nap after only being asleep 10-15 minutes and you can tell he still wants to be asleep. He'll stay asleep longer if I'm constantly rocking him (but a swing isn't good enough for him)

He's started to do this horrible grunting noise that sounds like he's hurting his throats when he's doing it. It's constant!

I hear all other mums saying how they're baby is sleeping through, never fusses, barely cries all this and I can't help think I'm doing something wrong. I hate it, me and my other half argue to the heavens and back because of how tired we are and because he can be such a handful. I do have help and it's amazing but I feel guilty when I leave him wth anyone because he is such hard work and then he comes back and I have to do it again. I love him, I do but I've went from such a sweet baby who slept 7ish hours a night to a baby who just constantly grunts, cries, screams, fights sleep, wakes up constantly.

He has Reflux which is actually in control now we've used anti-Reflux milk, he barely spits up now he's on that. I still give him gripe water to help with his wind as he does struggle and things for his teeth as he does grab his gums.

Please help, I always thought I'd enjoy motherhood but I'm struggling and almost disliking it when I should be relishing in it and savouring every moment whereas right now I'm wishing it away and dreading the future.

I'm so sorry I don't have any advice but just letting you know you're not alone!
Mines 26 weeks and just seems such a grumpy baby (he too has quite bad reflux and is on meds)
Nothing amuses him for long so I feel like I get nothing done. He's sleeping well at night but only having really short snoozes in the day too, so it makes it really hard.
I went to my friends the other day and her baby (Same age) was just sooooo chilled in comparison!! She was happy doing whatever. Highchair, bouncer, pushchair she never made a sound but mine just seems such high maintenance! If we go out for coffee or anything like that, it's never peaceful. I have a two year old too so makes it tricky and I feel like it gets me down too as I find it so frustrating. I keep telling myself it will pass. Everything is just a phase..!
Love x

I keep telling myself the same thing which helps until it gets tough and it feels never ending!! Hoping he passes through this phase I feel anything is better. I just want to be able to have a cuppa!

Could it be 4 month sleep regression? A late leap 4? or maybe early leap 5? My 23 week old is exactly the same, seems to have gone straight from leap 4 to leap 5 with only a few days break in between. He requires my constant attention all day long and I dread his 3 naps because I know I will spend a good hour trying to get him down. The grunting thing I can totally relate to! He's even started doing it while out in the pushchair in public - I was trying on something in a fitting room and who knows what the other customers thought was going on!! When my DS was about 8 weeks to 14 weeks he woke twice a night for feeds and I got a good 4/5 hour block at first.. we hit 15 weeks and it all went out the window. I miss those days of 2 night feeds .

I know! The grunting noise he does even when he's perfectly fine I spend my time checking! It's horrible but I'm glad I'm not alone! I'm hoping it all just that. I read about the sleep regression and I'm praying it's just a phase which everything seems to be! But with me I seem to go from a bad phase to an even worse! X

You're not alone.
Babies are individuals.
Have you tried a sling? I'm just thinking, you say he had reflux and needs to be rocked to sleep, carrying him may help with that.
As for all the "my baby is so happy she already does stand up"/"my baby slept through the night from 4hours old" mums; yes, some do but some don't. It very rarely has anything to do with the parents, it's just how the baby is.
Could I ask a personal question - could you be suffering from pnd?

I have a carrier which he will stay in but not for a long period of time it's hard I suffer with severe back ache so even myself I just generally struggle standing and holding a 16lb baby for along period of time haha if I could I would!
Yes but it's minor and I'm coping now thank goodness x

Hello,
I don't know if this will apply to you, but my baby grunted (worse when apparently asleep but so restless, especially from 4am for hours) and he was tired and didn't smile much. I switched him to lactose free formula milk, and in a few days, he slept quietly and smiled. I had thought it was worth a try with my little one as his cousin had a milk allergy and I was at my wits end. The GP didn't think it was worth trying. But after I'd done it, and it worked, I then got it ok prescription (as it's then easier to get it regularly).

As I say, I don't know if that would help you, but thought I'd tell you my experience x

Ps he is now 2yrs, and he started drink 'normal' milk at 6mo this and has been fine. I read a lot, and some things said they can grow out of the sensitivity to lactose.