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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Mummy-fied 15 month old!

10 replies

Jessie5 · 29/03/2007 14:28

Has anyone else had this? My ds screams if my dh picks him up, or cuddles him, and will have a tantrum rather than show him affection. Yet he is hugely affectionate with me and the childminder. I have assured dh he'll grow out of it, but i think it's starting to really get him down. They play games together, but it's mummy he really wants if I'm anywhere in the room. I consciously leave them on their own while I cook or whatever, but the minute I reappear ds screams for me.
My mother (and dh to a certain extent, although he is supportive) think it's because I breastfeed, and that I should stop.
Any thoughts/positive stories?

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DrMarthaMcMoo · 29/03/2007 14:31

Yes, my ds1 did this at almost the same age - I remember going on holiday (he was 14 months) and he would have nothing to do with dh and would scream and run to me if dh tried to do anything with him. Dh found it very upsetting (and I was peed off because I didn't get a single lie -in )

I wasn't breast-feeding so I would dismiss that as a potential reason - only stop if you want to.

It was pretty short-lived (sorry, I can't really remember how long) and dh and ds1 have had a good relationship ever since (he's 10 now).

Original poster

Jessie5 · 29/03/2007 20:50

Thanks DrMartha, makes me feel a bit better. Anyone else please?

OP posts:

frances5 · 30/03/2007 13:41

Only stop breastfeeding if you want to. Your baby will still act like a baby because he is a baby.

Your son will bond with your dh but it takes work. I think that little boys become more intersted in their Daddies at about three years old.

Mum2FunkyDude · 30/03/2007 13:45

Maybe he is suffering from delayed seperation anxiety? Something they all go through at different degrees.

My ds had it for about a month around 13 months, nothing serious, it's developmental, unless he was hurt by a man and refuse to get near any man.

mawbroon · 30/03/2007 14:11

Hi Jessie5. My ds did something similar at this age (he's now 17 months) but it was just super clinginess to me, not a prob with DH at all. I responded by giving him what he needed (and I believe it was a need, not a want) ie a quick breastfeed. It reset him and he would go off on his merry way right as rain. It did seem that I was feeding him 100 times a day, but for me, it was easier than listening to him crying and I believe (but of course could never prove) that it helped him get over it quickly. Don't listen to your MiL. I doubt if stopping would help at all.
The fouth myth down is the one you need to tell your MiL if she goes on about it

mawbroon · 30/03/2007 14:14

Oh sorry, made a mistake. Just realised it's your Mum not MiL who thinks you should stop.

Mumpbump · 30/03/2007 14:18

I have the opposite problem in that after spending most of his life being mummy-orientated, ds is now completely daddy-orientated. Quite a nice break for me although I do feel slightly rejected, but very difficult for dh to cope with!

Mumpbump · 30/03/2007 14:19

Sorry - point being that dh certainly doesn't bf ds so I think it's just the separation anxiety phase that people talk about...

snowleopard · 30/03/2007 14:28

Same thing happened with my DS, at the same age, and I stopped bf when he was 9 months (or rather HE stopped!) so it definitely wasn't to do with that. My HV and doc told me it's very normal at that age. DS still at nearly 22 months is quite clingy with me and calls for me in the morning - if DP goes in instead he gets very upset. But he will now play with DP for long periods and asks for Daddy if it's a time of day when we expect to see him, eg just before bedtime. I think it's worth setting up a routine whereby your DH spends time with DS and does a particular thing with him every day - eg in our house, DP plays with DS at bedtime, gets him changed into pajamas and reads him a book. Even if DS isn't sure about it at first, the routine will help him get used to "Daddy time" and he'll start to look forward to it.

I've also been told to make the most of it as apparently they do switch and start only wanting to be with Dad.

yellowrose · 30/03/2007 14:46

"My mother (and dh to a certain extent, although he is supportive) think it's because I breastfeed, and that I should stop".

No jessie be assured that it has NOTHING to do with bf. If you wish to stop bf, then it should be YOUR decision and your ds.

I have a 2.9 yo ds who is still bf, who is the most independent, confident chappy and loves daddy as much as mummy and dh has no man boobs

It is a development thing. They go through different stages of preferring different people. At the moment dh and I are both very popular, but there was a time when he just wanted mummy.

Bf children are not clingy. Quite the opposite. They tend to be very confident with people. It is one of the very positive things about bf.

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