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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Not sure whether to ditch the dummy....advice needed

9 replies

nicca · 16/07/2004 09:33

hi my youngest 6 months has a dummy , she sleeps really well and doesn't take much notice if it falls out during her daytime nap. But at night she will wake around 3.30 a.m. for it and will continue to push it out and I in for about an hour. She is having adequate food so it is definately the dummy she wants. She falls back to sleep at 4.30 but then continues to wake on and off till I have to eventually get up at 5.30 or 6. I want to move her in with her 4 yr old sister soon but am not sure whether the dummy would be a hindrance. I am so unsure of letting her go without as I am concerned for dd1, as she really gets distressed when her sister cries. But at the same time I do not want dd1 sleep disturbed when her baby sister may keep demanding her dummy during the night, especially as she begins shool soon. Also I live in a flat and feel awful if I let her scream in the early hours of the morning because of the neighbours. Not sure what to do, advice would be appreciated from a very tired single mum.

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tootie · 17/07/2004 15:38

Hi Nicca,sorry to hear you're so tired,I know the feeling well!I'm not the best person to advise you as my ds2 still has a dummy at 3 and is totally against giving it up.This is really getting me down as he wakes in the night for it and one of us (me!) has to find it for him if he can't.Also I haven't moved him in with his older brother yet as the older one doesn't want woken in the night by dummy boy.So it,s still musical beds in our house after all this time.I guess my best advice would be to ditch the dum,but as I said I'm the worst person to advise you...as I gave in.Good luck, let me know how you get on..

sponge · 17/07/2004 16:05

A difficult one at 6 months as she won't understand where it's gone or why. Our solution with dd was to leave her with about 4 so she could always find one! If you take it away she will get used to it but you will probably have to put up with a few nights of screaming.
At 3 though you can start to explain where the dummy has gone or find ruses to get rid of it.
We told dd that once you were 3 dummies didn't taste nice any more. On the night before her 3rd birthday we painted her dummies with that stop n grow stuff for fingernails. She woke up on her third birthday, discovered that dummies tasted horrible and never asked for one again. She was a bit sad for a day or two and once said she wished she was still 2 which was heartbreakingly cute but she forgot all about it in a coupls of days.
Other people have had success with leaving it out for the dummy fairy who takes it away in the night and leaves something you really want in its place. Perhaps a bit less cruel than our method .

prettycandles · 17/07/2004 17:48

I took dd's dummy away at 6m. The dummy was preventing her sleeping through and making it very difficult for her to go to sleep at all because. IIRC we had about 1h crying on and off the first night and she learnt to put herself to sleep and stay asleep within a matter of days. certainly less than a week. During this time put her to bed about 45m after her brother so that he wouldn't be distressed by her crying, and I don't think he ever heard her.

It wasn't entirely easy from then on, though. She was still in our room, and very aware of me - the least grunt from her and I woke up, and of course if she woke up there I was ignoring her and not feeding her. So a week after the cc finished I ended up sleeping in the living room for a week or two. She only cried when she woke in the night for the first 2-3 nights and each waking was shorter.

It took in total probably a month or maybe a little more to get dd sleeping through consistently. It wasn't all tears every night though! Unfortunately that brought us to the summer, and she would wake at about 5.30am. I made the room as dark as possible, moved the cot to the foot of my bed and as far from it as possible, and tied a blanket over the side so that she couldn't see anyone if she woke.

We too worried that her early waking would disturb ds, but when she was 1y I desperately wanted my room back so took the plunge and moved her in with ds (he was 3.3 then) and he coped better than expected. She now sleeps until about 6am-7am.

So that's my story, HTH. Some people are very against cc, but I think in the long run it is very worthwhile.

prettycandles · 17/07/2004 17:50

ugh! Read before hitting post!

...making it very difficult for her to go to sleep at all because of falling out. It was a lottery whether it fell out before she reached her deep sleep.

Original poster

nicca · 17/07/2004 18:11

Thankyou for your replies. I tried it last night and she cried so much that I'm convinced she gave herself colic, so I gave in I'm afraid. I will just probably move her in to dd1's room and ignore the early morning dummy moans so that she settles herself (may result to having dd1 in with me for a few days while her sister tries to settle herself without the dummy) and if all else fails I will just have to run from room to room till she learns how to pick it up and pop it in her mouth herself. I just hope the first one works eh!

OP posts:

SofiaAmes · 18/07/2004 00:38

You could get a dummy "leash." They do them short enough that they aren't a throttling hazard. That way the dummy can't go too far. Our dd was very attached to her dummy but did finally throw it away herself at 8 months. We substituted it with a bottle of milk (which turned into water at 15 mo.) which was much easier for her to find on her own than a dummy.

Grizzly · 21/07/2004 22:20

Ds has a dummy - 11 months old. He needs it for sleep - it helps him sleep through from 7.30pm till 8am, and for two sleeps of one hour in the day. I get up most nights about 4am when he cries, to put the dummy back in - seems like a small price to pay for a peaceful existence. Personally I do whatever I can to avoid prolonged crying - don't think it helps mum, baby or neighbours for that matter

johno · 21/07/2004 22:22

my son is 14 months and has a dummy, its my life saver lol

Daisydoolittle · 21/07/2004 22:33

DD has dummy at 2 and am not considering giving it up. I supply her with 4 dummies at night and she seems to find them in her cot easily enough. I would not get up to find it for her so she had to learn to find it. The dummy clip is a good idea although after about a year old ds learnt to pull it off pyjamas which didn't help but gave me the idea to put plenty of dummies in cot. I agree that dummies are great if it means some peace and quiet and it helps them get to sleep. We used the "give the dummy to the baby cousin" ploy when ds1 was 3. It worked and he was happy with that. Good luck.

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