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The Internet/Tablet use is destroying our family - any ideas ?

4 replies

Evalu8 · 10/08/2017 13:16

I rarely post on here, so apologies in advance if my abbreviations aren't clear, but I am in desperate need of help.

I have 2 boys aged 9 & 11 whom are normally well behaved and responsible, sure they have their moments like most kids, but otherwise good. They both have tablets which usually only come out for a couple of hours at weekends, and in school time they usually are too busy with after school clubs or homework for internet/games access to be an issue. However, since the start of the school holidays it's been a different story.

I had to go in for some major surgery the day after school broke up, so a good friend offered to take them on holiday with her to Europe for 2 weeks so I could recover without the worry of the kids being stuck at home. It's the first time that they have ever been away from us for that length of time, but her kids are of a similar age and they all get on, so it was too good an offer to miss.

In short, because of the heat in Europe they were indoors a lot and ended up playing on their tablets for hours on end most days. When they came back home the weather here was chucking it down for the first week and they asked if they could again go on their tablets as they were 'bored'. As most of their usual friends are away for the hols and I'm housebound for now due to the op - my DP has to keep an eye on me, so I appreciate it's not ideal. So we suggested an hour a day - as I do notice their mood, respect and behaviour changes when they are on it for longer. We have board games, TV, books etc shots not as if they don't have other options.

Come the end of the hour, could we get them off the tablets?

It ended up in disproportionate tantrums from the both of them and some horribly hurtful statements when we warned them that they would lose them for a day if they kept this up. Suffice to say we followed through with the threat. To say their behaviour was a shock would be an understatement, as the youngest even ran out of the house into the street in his pyjamas in the pouring rain threatening to run away - all because he couldn't use his tablet! Both myself and my DP were shocked at their behaviour, especially as we haven't really told the kids how serious my op was and we are just happy that I survived it.

I feel absolutely devastated that they have changed from manageable kids to complete monsters in the space of a month - especially as it all seems down to their fear of losing gaming/internet access. They really seem to freak out at the concept of being offline for even a day and I am at a loss to know what to do. They are being absolutely horrible and hurtful, when previously they were kind and considerate. They knew I was going in for some surgery before they left, although had they known the full extent they would probably have refused to go on holiday with our friend, but I certainly don't want scare them now by telling them their unreasonable behaviour is making me sad and Ill.

What should I do?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Angrybird123 · 10/08/2017 13:40

I'm so sorry this has happened and I hope you're recovering. My 8 yo is also v v screen based on that given a free choice he would rotate round tv, console , iPad computer etc. He is has mild ASD and it's definitely worse if he has more screen time we were away recently with no screen access at all and it was brilliant - he got on with card games, reading, running about and best of all there was no negotiating all the bloody time. All I can recommend is total cold turkey. Sit themdiwn and tell them that you are so horrified by their attitudes that there is no more at all until they are back at school, or at most, the usual one hour at the weekends. It's v hard when you are not well and would like them easily occupied (believe me I know) . There'll be an almighty row and reaction but then its done with. Refuse to discuss the subject again once the initial conversation is done. if they bring it up, change the subject. Maybe promise them a reward of they go 'X no of days without mentioning it, like a cinema trip or Lego set or whatever. Good luck

Evalu8 · 10/08/2017 18:23

Thanks Angrybird, I'm glad it's. or just my imagination. Having other views definitely helps, and mumsnet was the only thing that seemed like an option.

Xx

OP posts:
silverfishlondon · 16/08/2017 22:38

No real advice but I think it's common situation. My kids are much younger. But I remember when I was a teenager and we had one computer in the house the arguments we used to have! Had to take turns for half an hour each between me and my brother and we would just wait to go back on it.. I pulled the plug once when he didn't leave it promptly and turned to a fight!
Sorry their giving you such a hard time.

Noteventhebestdrummer · 17/08/2017 07:41

Try to teach them to self manage?

How about they can have an hour, then if they stop themselves and put the tablet away for say, 2 hours, then they can have another hour?

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