6yr old terrified of dogs....

[stressedbeyond123]

hi, my 6 year old DD is absolutely petrified of dogs. I can think of no reason behind it at all, have tried asking her why she is afraid but she just gets so upsets and cries when she has to talk about it.

i have tried ignoring it; talking to her about dogs etc; getting a bit shirty and telling her to get over it (not proud of this one at all and did apologise to her afterwards).

Her childminder has a Labrador who is she absolutely fine with...its all other flipping dogs. Its getting to the point where visiting friends with dogs is awkward as she is clinging to me, crying and asking to go home after 5 minutes.

any useful suggestions what i can do to help with her this??

Dd (5) is also afraid of dogs. They need their confidence built up slowly - each good experience with a dog is one step forward. Each bad experience is 10 steps back.
If you're not afraid of dogs yourself it can be hard to understand but the fear is real and rational.

My advice would be:

• if you're going somewhere that will have a dog she doesn't know, prepare her. Talk about the kind of dog, its name, what it looks like etc. Let her know that it will leave her alone if she doesn't want to play with it. Gently encourage contact when you're there but never force.

• prepare the dog owners that your child is nervous. They should be prepared to keep their dog away from her and let her get used to it slowly. If they can't be bothered to do that because their dog is just so lovable everyone should be slobbered over by it - don't take your child. It isn't fair on her (or the dog).

• contact with well behaved dogs is ideal, its great that her CM has one. Encourage her that lots of other dogs can be just as lovely. Ask what she likes about that dog, remind her of the positives.

• let her know its sensible to be wary of dogs she doesn't know. If you're out and friendly dogs come over to you, take control of contact with them, show her how to pet them gently etc. Stop them from jumping up to her if she doesn't like it, tell the owners etc. Don't just stand by and tell her its ok, actively do something to keep the dog away until she feels more comfortable.

Whilst dd is initially afraid of dogs, she usually loves them within a few minutes, provided she's allowed time to get used to them and feels secure. What's a small dog to us can be a big dog to a child!

And never make her feel she's being silly, it will do nothing to help.

Thank you Hive, that's exactly what we have been doing - very good points.

it seems to be the smaller dogs that scare her more as they tend to be quite "yappy" and jump around a lot. I have said to her oh look how excited they are to see you, they really like you - i've encouraged her to pet them, explaining that sometimes all they want is a bit of fuss and they will leave her alone....

when we are out walking and we see dogs i always say really positive things about them. i've also explained to people that a dog jumping up on us is nothing, but a dog jumping up on a child is literally in their face and its daunting.

i think it has got to the stage where she knows that the dogs will not hurt her, especially not the ones we know, but she doesn't quite know how to stop acting afraid as its gone on for so long if that makes sense x

Its very difficult not to show fear if you're afraid (I don't like big boisterous dogs myself). She won't be able to control that at her age and the dogs will sense her fear - making it worse.

We found what made the most difference was letting dd go at her own speed. Letting her come to the dog, not the other way round.

And we keep her away from dogs that we know aren't well trained, can't be relied on to behave well etc. Not all dogs are nice to be around even if you're not afraid.