Help me.

[Wheeze79]

I don't know where else to turn.
I'm so ashamed of how my son is behaving. I just don't feel I can talk to people in real life.

My son is 9, only just. We are on holiday and he is being so very very awful. He's having the most monumental tantrums. Screaming, kicking things, rushing towards us with clenched fists, slamming his fists down on tables.
Im sitting on the balcony sobbing as we've come back to the room early as yet another night has been ruined by his tantrums.
He has burst into tears, stormed outand blamed us when he has lost a game of pool, even if we weren't there. It's like a red mist descends and he just screams and is aggressive (but not violent - if that makes sense)
This has happened multiple times on holiday and before too. It's just getting worse. I feel sick with anxiety about his behaviour. I hesitate (and hate) social events because of him and I am just so so at my wits' end and so utterly miserable.

I feel such a failure. I do t know why he is being like this or why he acting so badly. I also feel a failure as I don't know how to help him.

I just had to get it out somewhere.

Thank you for listening.

Hi Wheeze just back from holiday too. Terrible difficulties with dd and all very stressful. Some trouble with ds too. You have my sympathy.

Please, please, do not hate yourself or blame yourself.

You are not a failure.

Have you thought about approaching the GP and getting a referral to CAMHS (Child and adolescent mental health services) are you in the UK?

In your shoes I would get an urgent appointment with the GP. I am nto sure but I would probably take the child to appointment but get him to wait until you have spoken to doctor. You could actually ask fro a double appointment if this has put a lot of stress on you and explain this and get some advice from GP for you coping with the difficulties. If you are parenting in a couple, can your partner get time off to come to appointment too?

Make a diary of the outbursts, behavior, words and phrases used, actions used etc. Also keep a record of what makes it worse/better.

Our son is adopted and I know that holidays for adopted children can be hard. He has been with us for over three years and for pretty much all of that time has been fine. But lately he has become a total hoe bod and now hates going away.

i can't bear the idea of going to the same place every year, so we need to manage things so he feels happy but also so the whole family gets to do things they like. DS and DD have had a few rows and it just really spoils things.

Anyway, if you have tried CAMHS I would try again with an update. If not yet tried you can self refer or the school can refer but I think your best bet is GP.

Good luck (PS you posted same thread twice, you may want to report the other before it gets messages too.

home bod.