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Behaviour/development

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misbehaving when friends come over

4 replies

liveandletlive123 · 05/08/2017 18:17

When my daughter (7) has had friends over to play during the holidays she has been so excited. She finds it very hard to contain her excitement and frustrations. When the friend arrives she kisses and cuddles and does her utmost to impress.
She is an only child and I think it is important for her to have other children to play with through out the break.
I have told her that it is important to be a good host and to be kind to her quest but she has behaved so badly. She is rude to me in front of her playmate and waits to see if the friend finds it amusing. She becomes possessive over toys her friend takes an interest in and refuses to share. She argues with all sorts of things with me. To be honest I find it totally exhausting and soul destroying.
I have reprimanded my child (sometimes I have had to do so with the friend present) and told her friends cannot come if she is rude to me and upsets her friend. I have explained that she needs to share her toys etc She dissolves into tears when I reprimand her and says she cannot help behaving the way she has been. I need a bit of help with how to manage this.? I do not want to squash her lively, exuberant personality, however I am finding it hard to be positive with her. I want her to learn to behave politely and with reasonable self restraint.

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GlummyMummy · 05/08/2017 19:52

Watching with interest as I can see my three year old behaving like this already! It's like she is so excited to have the attention of other kids she just behaves way over the top and can't control herself. Hopefully someone will have some ideas!!

liveandletlive123 · 05/08/2017 22:05

Thanks for the above. Her friend left fairly late.....mumm delayed. It was a complete nightmare. I feel like crying my eyes out.

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Didiplanthis · 06/08/2017 20:12

Totally understand - my 5 year old twins get stupidly over excited when friends come round. They don't get rude and share well but get so silly and do really naughty things they would never normally do and seem totally oblivious to telling off. They promise it won't happen and it always does. I have stopped play dates now which makes me feel awful as I am worried it will impact on their friendships but I simply can't cope with it.

Witchend · 06/08/2017 20:20

I think it's fairly common, but I would expect her to be growing out of it by 7yo really.
Perhaps you could get an activity for the next playdate, which should reduce down some of those things.
I'd also give her a signal that she need to back down. For mine I used to use one finger placed on their shoulder or back of hand (whichever I could do without being too obvious). It meant "stop and back down now" roughly.
I would chat through afterwards what they should have done-it wasn't always a "you are wrong" it could just as easily be a "this conversation is getting silly and let's stop it."

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