DSS 13and DSD 11 are lovely kids and we all get on well. I've been their stepmum for 7 years and also have a younger DD 5 and baby DS. The older two are with us every other weekend. I'm really struggling with what I can only describe as gross behaviour. They eat with their hands, don't wash to the point where DSDs hair smells bad as does DSSs whole body. They still put non food objects in their mouths to chew on and will happily eat food off the floor. The last time we went to the cinema DSD started eating someone else's spilled popcorn off the floor! DSS will pick his nose and eat it while he's talking to you. It's just so grim.
I know I know DH should sort it but he doesn't and now DD is beginning to mimic and it's making me crazy. She uses cutlery just fine when they aren't here. But for two days after they've been I have to keep reminding her. She of course is now asking why it's ok for them to eat with their hands and not her. It's as if DH just doesn't see it. If I nag him then he nags them but it's not working nor is it constructive. I feel like we need a whole house approach. I have largely stayed out of any discipline and worked hard to build a solid relationship with them. But I can't keep letting this go. Any ideas on how to go about changing their behaviour?