Handling 4 year olds tantrums

[csoph90]

Totally new to this but in desperate need of advice!! My four year and a half year old has suddenly started throwing tantrums at bed time when something doesn't go her way. She has always been very good at going to bed and following her bedtime routine and never had issues before. But a few times now she kicks and screams and refuses to go, she hits me a lot (which she has never done before) over and over. Tonight she was throwing her toys at her bedroom door and kicking and punching it. Telling me I'm not her mam anymore. She is generally a well behaved, happy little girl. Tonight it drove me to tears and im not sure how to handle her new found attitude. Help??

I also have a 4.5 year old who had started having EPIC tantrums that involve kicking and hitting and throwing insults at me. I'm just responding by giving lots of love and hoping it will pass. I try not to get wound up and stay calm. I tell him to use his words and show empathy and give his emotions a name so he can express better in the future ("you're feeling angry/sad/scared/frustrated aren't you"). It's soooooo hard but am persevering and hoping it will end when school starts!! I'm also wondering if it's anything to do with the fact that school is looming and it's a big change for them?

Yes I've thought that too. She has just had a two week transition period where the school has moved each year group up to their new classes to settle in before the new school year. This is the exact time these new tantrums have developed.