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12 year old son behaviour

2 replies

Farthing17 · 29/07/2017 20:05

Hi All
I'm just wondering if anyone can offer some advice... I have recently met a new guy after having been divorced and single for the last year and a half. My son has met him briefly and I have made sure that I have talked things through with my son to try and answer any issues/concerns he may have.
My previous relationship was very abusive and my son saw me being hit - this is the first situation that he has seen me with anyone else so I knew things may be tricky and have been very aware of potential jealousy / upset protectiveness towards me.
Every time I have seen the new guy I have talked it through with my son and he has assured me he has been okay with it - all we have done is go for a walk or similar and I have been home within the hour. Last night I came back home and then when I looked at my phone my son had sent me numerous messages on skype calling me all sorts of horrendous names. He has then stayed in his room and has literally only come out today to go to the toilet.

I literally dont know how to deal with this. I am so hurt and horrified that he would call anyone the names that he did - least of all me. This is the first time that I have been out with anyone in about a year and a half (since my divorce) and I have taken so much time over the last few months to talk to my son and try and deal with this transition. I am making sure to only meet up with the new guy once or twice a week so that my son doesnt feel like our relationship is being threatened. I genuinely dont know how to deal with this. I have tried talking to my son but I am literally getting completely ignored
Any help would be really useful Thank you x

OP posts:
Goldmandra · 29/07/2017 20:16

I think I would try communicating with him via text messages at first. He clearly needs to say things that he can't put into words or say to your face.

You need to acknowledge that he has used unacceptable language but that you will let that go on this occasion because he is clearly upset.

Does he have contact with the previous abuser?

Farthing17 · 29/07/2017 20:21

Hi
Thank you for your advice..
No - we have no contact at all. My son knows some of what went on and as mentioned saw me being hit. He doesn't know the full extent of the abuse. X

OP posts:
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