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Terrible Two's- how do I cope?

1 reply

GirlInTheGreenhouse · 18/07/2017 17:52

I'm feeling like the worst mum and very far from the mum I wanted to be. DD is 22 months and really perfecting the art of the tantrum. I obviously try to avoid situations that cause tantrums as much as possible but the times I really struggle are situations like one we've just had- she was playing in the garden before tea and kept opening the gate to go out. I did all the usual distraction, explaining why she shouldn't open the gate etc then came the point where I just had to say no and when she persisted carried her inside. She did her trademark blood-curdling scream, which she always does when you do something she disapproves of then went into full on tantrum mode. (I know we need to get a lock on the gate to avoid this, I'm just using this as an example of a time when there really is no compromise, like running off in a car park or wanting to touch the oven).

I'm finding this so hard to cope with. It's the screaming and shouting I really hate and then I find myself shouting at her to stop shouting- counter productive I know.

Is this just a phase? What's the key to surviving it? She's generally cranky at the moment as she's getting her second molars but is usually such a happy girl which is why all this screaming and shouting and wanting her own way is so horrible. I'm just finding this the absolute hardest stage to cope with.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
minipie · 18/07/2017 23:56

Distraction - not just to avoid the tantrum but to shorten it too - my DD will often miraculously go quiet at the offer of a snack. Tickling sometimes helps.

Deep breath and count to 5 (doesn't stop the tantrum but helps you not shout back)

Put her in another room to do her shouting, if it's getting to you

Encourage her to use words not shouting/crying- depends on how her speech is

Recognise it's a normal phase and may go on for years a while, it doesn't mean she's desperately unhappy (even if it sounds like she's being murdered Grin) it's just she hasn't learned to express her crossness another way yet

Give choices where you can (red plate or blue plate?) so she feels she gets some control even if she can't always get her way

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