Do other mums dislike you when your baby does things before theirs

[BringMeTea123]

Sounds odd I know but my son is 8 months and has been crawling confidently and pulling himself up for a while now. He won't be long before he walks as he's really trying. However at a baby class I go to (we've been going since he was a few weeks old) a couple of the mums seem to be a little off and don't want to talk to me anymore. Just seems like their baby isn't doing what mine is and just being off. I know it's nothing I've done or said as I'm always polite. There's a few that are like oh can he teach "so and so" to do that or "I'm glad we arnt quite there yet as I bet you have your hands full" etc just odd

@MiaowTheCat i think jealousy must be what it comes down to.
I know children all do things at their own pace I'm sure others can do something my son hasn't learned yet. It's not like I'm pushing him to do anything he can't (not that you can with an 8 month old anyway) or purposely making him do something like crawling! If we are sat on floor he's off. I can't force him to crawl or pull himself up or clap or wave etc. Sure I can say clap or wave and he does but it's not like I'm trying to show off.

Maybe it's just me lol 🙈

I honestly don't think so. 8 months isn't particularly early to crawl, and all babies are so different, I never really register who is fast/slow to reach milestones.

You'd have to be really pathetic to behave like that surely.

I agree with others that it's not particularly early so it would be odd to be just because your baby is crawling unless the mothers suffer from anxiety? I know a couple of mothers who left an online baby group as seeing other babies advance when their baby had not yet hit the milestone made them worry too much (even though they were still definitely in the 'normal' range)

I know he's not doing it particularly early. But I did mention he has being doing it for a while and he's the youngest in the group.

I honestly don't care if he crawls at 6 months or if he had done it at a year old. The same when he walks. I don't care when he does it, he will do it in his own time. At the end of the day you don't see adults out and about on their hands and knees because they haven't walked yet flippant I know but that's my point. I also think it's great seeing others on the group to be able to do stuff even if mine isn't doing it. That's all I'm getting at. Just seems a couple can't seem to be the same for mine x

Who knows but stuff 'em OP — if they can't be happy that's their lookout. OTOH I might come across as being like them at my baby group as my huge 8 mo DS is not even able to really do tummy time, let alone anything like crawling (he can sit confidently but has never had the slightest interest in getting the core strength to get up on knees, rock or crawl). He is also a non sleeper so I am utterly exhausted and don't talk to him enough, so he's not following any verbal instructions at all. So at baby group the other kids all interact and crawl round, and DS & I sit there feeling tired & overwhelmed. Some of the other mums clearly think I am standoffish and two have said the think I lie about how badly he sleeps (I wish it weren't true...). But I am not a bitch, I am just really tired, have zero support, and am on the edge of PND. So I feel shit when the other babies are all so clearly so much further ahead than DS.

@Schwanengesang i wouldn't worry Hun. He will do it when he's ready. As I said before they all do it eventually. One of the girls in the group just posted her son has started to crawl and he's 10 and a half months.

I think you need some support. Maybe a trip to your GP? I was on the brink of PND Dec/Jan. We were living at my partners mum and dads (our house was being renovated) I was tired beyond belief. Do you have a partner or mum that can help you?
We have established a really good routine now and are in our own house (DS wasn't a bad sleeper to begin with though). Have you tried any routines etc? Xx

But I did mention he has been doing it for a while and he's the youngest in the group

^This would irritate me, as you're clearly comparing children. You might've said that he is an early walker, rather than point out that he is the earliest yet youngest of the group. Nothing wrong with being a proud first time mum, but you have to remember that others might feel vulnerable at this stage.

You sound kind of annoying and braggy to be honest so maybe that's the reason? You may come across differently in real life. 10.5 months isn't even late to crawl so the fact that you're incredulous at that makes me think you're the type to say "REALLY?! STILL not walking/crawling?!" Etc.

My DS has only just started walking at 17 months and still only taking a few steps. He's very bright, verbal and has slept amazingly since day one. I would never say this to mums who may be worried about their babies speech or who have a non sleeper. It's simple tact.

I never said that 10.5 months is late to crawl and I honestly don't think it is. Like I have said I'm not judging anyone. They do stuff when they're ready. It wouldn't bother me if my son wasn't crawling etc. Like I say I actually like seeing the babies doing different things. We obviously all think our children are geniuses but I know that it's clearly not the case. I now way am I "bragging" I'm sorry if it comes across that way

There's honestly no point whatsoever comparing babies' milestones. I've got three kids, and I think it's all completely random. More to the point, unless there is a genuine problem, it makes absolutely no difference when kids walk or talk.

One of mine walked at 10 months, one at 19 months. Guess which one moans incessantly if they have to walk anywhere now......

I think sometimes people do compare and feel a little worried about development. I know I did because my DS was ill just after he was born and I watched like a hawk for developmental delays. Bragging or show off mums just made me feel.awful (not saying you are, just something worth considering). Equally there does seem to be a lot of competition. In my NCT group DS was last to walk but now at 15/16 months they are all toddling around, you wouldn't know who did what first.

Perhaps they aren't jealous, but seeing your baby doing well with milestones might be making them a little anxious about their own baby. I know there's no point comparing, but my little one is a bit behind with some of her gross motor stuff (10months, not crawling, only just getting onto all fours and can commando crawl a little) and when I'm at home I feel completely fine about it, but sometimes at baby class I worry when I see the other, more mobile babies. I certainly have never been deliberately stand-offish, but I bet I seem distracted sometimes, and that could be misinterpreted. Maybe that's what you're seeing?