3 year old crying over stupid stuff

[user1499288790]

My 3 year old boy cries a lot! He will cry when someone goes in to get him in the morning, when he's told to sit up for breakfast, when he has to get his shoes on... the list is endless. When you ask him why he's crying, he will come out with really random things that are totally unrelated to what is happening. Does anyone else's little ones do this?
When he's not crying he is a lovely, funny, cheeky child. But we are getting to our whits end over this. We've tried standing him in the corner (our version of the naughty step) sometimes it works and others it doesn't. My husband has mental heath issues and is now really struggling to cope, he is a stay at home Dad, so has to deal with this on a daily basis. It got so bad the other day he told me he wants to put our son up for adoption. We are currently going through a phase of my husband ignoring our son almost all the time and only engaging with him to the bare minimum.
Does anyone have any experience of this type of behaviour? I just don't know what to do.
Thank you

Your child gets stood in the corner as a punishment for crying, his main carer ignores him and wants to put him up for adoption??
When you read that back does it give you a glimmer of insight into why the poor little mite cries all the time.
Firstly, you really really need to review your childcare arrangements. You can't leave a 3 year old in the charge of somebody who treats him this way!
Secondly, in response to the crying, what works for me is to make sure he feels listened to. So, ds cries, he tells me it's because his trains won't go right, I give him a hug and say poor you that sounds really frustrating. Then we move on. His tears generally stop in seconds once his feelings have been acknowledged.
Regarding your son I think some major bonding is in order, cuddles, positivity and lots of time and attention.

He's three, he can't articulate what is upsetting or overwhelming him and crying is his way of communicating when it all gets too much. I'm 47 and I still feel like that sometimes! It sounds like the situation with his father is a vicious circle. I don't doubt looking after a three year old all day when you have mental health issues would be a difficult thing but if he is unable to meet your son's emotional needs then someone else needs to step in before it gets worse. Poor little boy.

He is three
He is trying to communicate and is being ignored
Tell his dad to stop being an abusive prick

Your dh is not cut out to be a SAHP. Ignoring a 3 year old and only giving them the most basic attention is a recipe for crying. I'd cry if were him. Some children do seem to cry more than others but dealing with it by punishing him is totally counter productive. Your ds needs to feel loved and heard. Have a look at love bombing.

You don't say how long this has been going in but it is likely to be a developmental phase. The situation with your DH sounds concerning; both DH and I struggled with our DD at various points when she was little but we Never would have considered adoption - that is far from normal. We both attended parenting classes and looked after our own mental health giving each other time off and exercising, eating well, etc. First your DH needs to acknowledge the problem is partly with him (no doubt it is a vicious circle) and then seek help and support for him and also together. Do you have a Sure Start in your area? Also speaking to the Health Visitor may help (although they hugely vary).

PP saying your partner is an 'abusive prick' is not helpful as he clearly needs help himself.

There is a whole book about kids crying over silly things - this is not unusual www.reasonsmysoniscrying.com

Are you waking him about in the morning? Is he getting enough sleep? My children all tend to cry more when over tired.

We are currently going through a phase of my husband ignoring our son almost all the time and only engaging with him to the bare minimum

This made me want to cry, it's just horrible and needs to stop, and certainly won't make your son's crying any better.

Your poor poor son! Was going to say I can completely relate. My son is the same but he is my second so I am aware it's just developmental. An understanding of boundaries and rules that he just unite manage at the mo because of his limited vocab / social skills he cries.

Fuck knows how this is gonna pan out with your husband now deciding he doesn't want him.

Poor kid

Do the right thing

You are expecting far too much from a 3 year old. Emotions are complicated things. Even as an adult I have feelings that I can't explain. Thanks to life experience I can wait or talk it out until these feelings become clearer or tell myself to ignore them. As adults we can rationalize these feelings as being tired/having a bad day/time of the month or whatever. Kids can't say "I couldn't build my tower of Lego earlier and you cutting my toast in squares rather than triangles is the last straw" or whatever.

Sounds like they are both trying to tell you something.

My eldest was a sensitive kid and cried a lot. Lovebombing worked really well for us.

The damage caused by ignoring a child at this age can be vast and irreversible, in my experience.

Is your husband being treated for his MH?

Your husband is neglecting your child. That's what it is to do "the bare minimum" and ignore a three year old the rest of the time because he cries. Good lord. This is a situation bordering on abuse for this poor little tyke.

Any stay-at-home-parent who wants to put their child up for adoption is basically saying they want to quit their SAHP job. So he needs to get other work, pronto, and you need to look into care arrangements. I would guess your child once he doesn't have to be shut in all day with a neglectful mentally ill person will blossom at preschool.

Is your husband able to work at all? It sounds like he can't cope with being SAHP.

It's sad that your punishing your son for crying. Coincidentally I watched a little Super Nanny who was dealing with a child who would talk in a whiny voice all of the time and she would tell the child that she could come and find mummy when she was ready to talk in a normal voice. The child learned that mum would listen if she used her normal voice.

I've seen a book at the library called something like The over-Sensitive Child. Might fit your situation?