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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Sharing toys

8 replies

thethirdwiseeasterbunny · 23/03/2007 13:52

I've noticed recently that a few of my friends LOs are really possessive with their toys and cry if my ds wants to play with them. The children concerned have relatively new siblings and both go to nursery regularly, and it's something that has started recently. Must admit my ds isn't possessive with his stuff - he tends to give his toys to his little mates then go and try to scale the fireplace or something equally dangerous He doesn't go to nursery/have any siblings. Is it because they have to share their stuff more and don't want to? Any thoughts?
Just wondered really............

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mishw · 23/03/2007 14:44

How old are they?

I'd say that not wanting to share their toys is completely natural and if your LO is happy to share then that is great but don't be surprised if he too becomes possesive at a later stage.

caygill132 · 23/03/2007 14:48

My neice is 4 & goes to nursery 3x a week & is really possessive with her toys & my dd (8 months). She will hord them beside her & not let my lo have them, then if we tell her to share will choose the smallest toy for my dd to have. Her mum is pg at the mo so will have to get used to sharing..don't know if it's a nursery thing..survival of the fittest! Don't know but I'm sure it's something they will learn to do..sharing..when they have to.

Original poster

thethirdwiseeasterbunny · 23/03/2007 15:14

Mishw - ds is 22 months, his mates are 25 months and 19 months. It's funny you should say about survival of the fittest Caygill - I wondered if that was what it's all about.

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rarrie · 23/03/2007 17:27

I think it is just natural. My DD went to nursery, and is able to share her toys, but has to be reminded from time to time, but out of her group of friends, the worst offender is the child who has never been to nursery / childminders - and that's probably because the need to share has never been there.

I think sharing is something that all children have to learn, and some just are better at it than others!

Nemo2007 · 23/03/2007 17:33

Think it is a little to do with the child and a little to do with their situation.
My DS has never had any problems sharing his toys and will quite happily let anyone play with them and always has done. He now goes to playgroup and is possibly a little bit of a walk over. However DD1 is 15mths and is already very vocal about what is hers/she is playing with. Again she stays home with me apart from toddler groups/meeting with friends and has never had to shout to play with her brothers things so it is just her. However she is also a lot more vocal about everything!!Ds was always quiet so shall wait and see how DD2 turns out..lol

sunnysideup · 23/03/2007 18:32

My ds (who is four) has always been good at sharing toys. When he has his friend round from school, and when he has his cousins round, he looks after them beautifully. Obviously he's a child, he has had his moments, but these have been the exception.

He's a singleton and he didn't go to nursery.

I think it's a mixture of the nature of the child, and possibly being a singleton and not totally and utterly fed up with sharing 24/7 like kids with siblings...he has more patience perhaps, because he doesn't have to do it all the time and knows that when they go he'll have things to himself again!?

Original poster

thethirdwiseeasterbunny · 23/03/2007 21:24

sunnysideup - great name btw, I agree it depends on the nature of the child concerned/circumstances etc but like your ds my ds is pretty easy going and probably doesn't mind sharing for similar reasons to the ones you stated. All children are different aren't they? not sure he'd be so keen to share his choccy - like mother like son

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PinkTulips · 23/03/2007 21:34

dd is 2 and goes to playschool 3 days a week and has a baby brother who's 7 months and she knows if she wants a toy ds has she has to give him a new toy in exchange. she loves bringing him toys to look at and at toddler group she'll spend a fair bit of time collecting balls for him and the other babies to play with

she does snatch his dummy though but she never steals other babies dummies (in fact she got very upset one day when another baby had a dummy l\the same as his and she thought he'd stolen ds' )

there are a few toys she'll snatch if she sees him playing with but shegenerally feels guilty and hands them back after 10 seconds or so, lol

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