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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

He only wants to be carried and won't walk!! Help

14 replies

Baba · 12/07/2004 13:43

My 2 year old son will not walk when we go out - he has to be carried continuously by either myself or his dad and I have now had enough of it...

Today I decided to make him walk and we went out to buy some flowers and it took me 3/4 of an hour to get him to walk across the walk. He was screaming and flinging his arms around, people were asking what was wrong and I was soo embarrassed but I stuck at it.

Then he wanted to go to the park. We got there and all he wanted to do was be carried over to the swings or the slide. I said no again and told him to walk but he screamed again. So I told him we were going home and I lost my temper.

Then he fell asleep in the car (he was up at 6.00am and fell asleep at 9.30 - not like him at all) and is still in bed now.

I feel very guilty and am wondering if he is completely traumatised by the whole thing but I don't know what else to do.

I kept praising him as he walked, telling him what a good and big boy he was but it didn't make a difference.

Any ideas?
Baba x

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

dinosaur · 12/07/2004 13:44

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Fio2 · 12/07/2004 13:47

I would try and keep him in the buggy as long as possible. My ds wants to walk all the time and it is a nightmare

Original poster

Baba · 12/07/2004 13:52

I would take him in the buggy but he totally screams when I put him in it and will keep screaming and writhing about until I take him out and carry him!! Baba x

OP posts:

Fio2 · 12/07/2004 13:58

well he is most probably just being a typical awkward 2 year old. i would ignore him when he is screaming but I must be a bad mummy!

dinosaur · 12/07/2004 14:06

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

clary · 12/07/2004 14:06

Baba I have not had this problem but poor you. Sounds very difficult. If he hates the buggy then I think you are going the right way to try to get him walking, as that is what you will want to do in the long run. Is he yr only one btw? You really cnanot carry a 2yo everywhere I agree. I think he is old enough to understand rewards now, can you do a star chart/sticker thing? Or promise a treat (eg park, trip to pal's house) if he will walk there? Or how about playing games as you go, skip along with mummy, sing songs, ooh look at that birdie over there, let's walk as far as that tree and see if we can jump up to it etc... Was he a very late walker? If there is no physical problem then it's just a matter of battle of wills by the sound of it. I actually think that praise to avoid a tantrum is great, but if it's gone beyond that and the 2yo is lying there screaming, I have found ignoring it is the most effective way to bring it to an end. Is that any help?

Original poster

Baba · 12/07/2004 14:10

Some good ideas there so thanks for that. He is our only one and he has always been very close to me as his Dad works days and nights most of the time. He loves to cuddle and be close to me all the time and is quite clingy, even still at nursery which he is at 5 days a week. He sleeps in his own bed well and we don't have a problem there so I just don't understand why he doesn't want to walk.

I understand the buggy problem as a lot of my friends children suddenly started to hate their buggies at around 2 so I presumed it was an independence thing.

ds even wants to be carried by his Nana or his Grandma; anyone as long as he doesn't have to walk and yet in the house he never stops moving-never sits down etc etc.

He is still in bed so now I am wondering if there is something else wrong - I just feel so guilty sitting here, thinking he is so upset about what I made him do.

I will get a star chart or something like that and try it. We are getting married in August and I am dreading the fact that I will have to carry him all through the wedding service!!

OP posts:

Twinkie · 12/07/2004 14:30

Think he is just testing the boundaries and being a little sod - strap him in and go for a walk - when he wants to get out let him but do not pick him up and then when he creates stick him straight back in the pushcahir - carry this on for a while and I am sure he will get the message.

And believe ne at 1 years old he will have no recollefction or permanent mental trauma about his mummy not letting him be carried everywhere!!

As much as you have to love and nurture and be there for them they also have to know that there are boundaies and you are the boss.

Good Luck. XXX

myermay · 12/07/2004 15:28

Message withdrawn

Blu · 13/07/2004 15:45

Baba, I may have misunderstood your times, but does he usually wake at 6a.m and then go through until 9.30pm without a sleep? If so, he is probably tired out and that could be why he is reluctant to walk?
But my DS always hassles to be carried if he can get away with it - he just loves the attention, I think.

colette · 13/07/2004 19:55

Baba
I agree you should stick to not carrying him as he will see it as a reward for throwing a wobbly. With dd at this age I found singing "we are going on a bear hunt.. squelching thro' the mud.. can't get over it etc.. etc..2
It is a lovely children's book . It helped to keep her going and me from getting annoyed. Good Luck , you will have him walking at your weddingsmile{}

Branster · 13/07/2004 20:04

tricky stage this one. dd was like that for a short while around same age.
all i can suggest is do not make a big issue out of it. perhaps take a buggy or tricycle with you when going out and suggest he uses one of those if he doesn't want to walk as you cannot pick him up. and if he'll be a good boy and walk home, he'll get a nice surprise for it (a favourite cake, small toy, painting time etc). it will pass!

zebra · 15/07/2004 11:17

Baba -- my DS was the v. similar (hated buggy, but refused 2 walk where I was going).
I forced him into the buggy, too. He didn't start cooperating (sort of, we still get plenty strops) with walks until he was 4!

lulupop · 15/07/2004 15:59

Baba, my DS was very like yours - kept wanting to get out of the buggy and then refusing to walk. I used to carry him quite a lot until I was getting heavily pregnant with DD, then I insisted it was either buggy or walk. Usually he went for walk, but I must admit it was very slow progess at times. I also got one of those wrist straps as he went beserk when we tried reins. That worked for a bit (I told him HE was taking ME for a walk, just like his grandma's doggy), but then caused tantrums too. Now I have a 10 week old baby and have refused to get a double buggy as DS is so heavy and at 2.5 I think he should walk. We go out with her in the buggy but with the baby sling for in case he really goes mad, and it works OK as long as I'm not trying to get anywhere in a hurry. Although he;s not perfect by any means, I just wanted to reassure you that after about 3 months of consistently being told "buggy or walk", we have seen an improvement, so I'm sure you will too. It's tough, I know.

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