How can I stop DS1 ordering DS2 around? They are 9 and 7. I just came in to find them squabbling, with DS2 lying across DS1. It was because D1 had told DS2 off for leaving the breakfast table with food still in his mouth.
This happens all the time. DS1 says, but you would tell him off for that. I say "It's not your job! It's my job!" He says "I only wanted to stop him choking".
It's driving me mad. Basically I hear my own words coming out of his mouth. How can I tell him it bloody isn't his job to discipline DS2 when he is convinced it is? He is very logical, and says "don't you want me to look after him?" And of course there are some situations when I would want him to stop DS2 from doing something dangerous if he could.
DS2 ends up hitting him in frustration and then everything escalates. What is particularly galling is DS1s behaviour is by no means perfect and he is usually calling DS2 out for stuff he does himself! Do I say "just come and tell me instead of telling him off yourself" or is that just encouraging a constant stream of "DS2 did this!"
As background I do feel that I am telling DS1 off a lot at the moment and probably he wants to even the score. But he is going through a particularly obnoxious phase. I do praise him a lot as well.