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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

toddler hair-washing tips?

25 replies

strangerthanfiction · 12/07/2004 01:01

Dd, 21 months, hates having her hair washed. I've usually done it while she's in the bath with one of those forehead shield things and although she's grumbled it's been ok. Now she's VERY against it and if I mention hair washing is going to happen she screams and scrabbles to get out of the bath. I decided to separate it from bathtime as we were having some general bathtime rebellions (posted about that a couple of days ago) and did it with dp, holding her backwards over the bath and using the shower while she yelled her head off and we all got soaked.

I'm sure this is an extremely common problem - any handy tips?

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SoupDragon · 12/07/2004 01:28

Um... Unfortunately, I'm a cruel and evil mother who simply washes her DSs hair and dumps a bucket of water over their heads to wash the foam off.

meanmum · 12/07/2004 01:32

Stupidly ds mentioned washing hair and I said we would do it tomorrow so now every day he gets in the bath/shower he tells me we're washing hair 'morrow. So far I've taken him at his word as his hair hasn't quite started to become dreadlocks, however, tomorrow is definitely going to have to come which will be an ordeal for all. Mind you I take the same approach as Soupdragon and put the bubbles on (which he loves) and then just hold him still while I use the shower to wash it off. I do try explaining the advantages of closing his eyes but he just can't seem to do it. It's all forgotten in less than a minute which doesn't make me feel too bad. I generally am in the shower with him at the time so don't have issues with being wet. I also find that bubble bath (I use Radox) keeps his hair fairly soft and clean for quite a while so he has a lot of baths between hair washes and when he dumps the water on his head I count that as a sudo-wash.

foxinsocks · 12/07/2004 01:37

yes, I'm afraid I'm with soupdragon on this one. Ds used to love having his hair washed until he saw dd screaming and now both of them start howling the minute they know what's coming.

One tiny bit of success I've had is to get dd to stare up at the ceiling while I pour water over her head. That way, it tends not to go into her eyes (as it runs down her back). It's difficult though as she has thick, curly ringlets but I think she has just about got the idea that if she puts her head far back enough, she won't get water in her eyes.

Ds (32 months) doesn't get the putting head back thing so just screams blue murder so I do it as quick as poss.

P.S. have you tried letting her stand in the shower. Apparently some kids love this.

poppyseed · 12/07/2004 01:37

STF, we have the same problem with DD and have had for about 3 years!! I have tried EVERYTHING with her - being nice, nasty, head forwards, backwards, 'dunking', showerhose, bucket....you name it we've tried it. What makes it worse is that she has the most beautiful curly hair that really needs washing every other day to stop it looking and smelling like a matted sheep- especially now that she is at school! At the moment she isn't too bad with dunking it herself - leaning backwards into the bathwater, so that she is in control of it herself, although I think your DD is younger and so this will probably not be a good idea at present.... I have tonight started a star chart (10 stars is a £10 note to spend on holiday!!) I really wish that I could be of more help to you, but I can't be!! I suppose I just wanted to tell you that you're not on your own!!

musica · 12/07/2004 01:39

Ds really really hated this. But then he just of his own free will decided to hold his hands over his eyes, and we just chuck the water over his head, do the shampoo and chuck the water again. He never grumbles now, and knows he can wipe his eyes on the towel afterwards. We do it first thing to get it out of the way then he can enjoy the bath.

ponygirl · 12/07/2004 01:43

I have this too with ds1 (now 5.6). I used to lean him backwards and dunk, but he started to panic a bit about this. My MIL suggested getting him to hold a dry flannel over his face which worked really well. Lately, we 've been using swim-goggles: you have to work a bit round the strap, but he's happy with it. Dd (3.6) just gets water poured but is quite good at tipping her head back, but she doesn't complain half so much as ds1. Ds2 (1.5) just get dunked backwards and ignore the wails! Good luck.

Eve · 12/07/2004 01:43

Our technique with DS who is 2 and hates his hair been washed is:

DH takes DS out of bath,
Wrap DS is a towel, arms etc all secured
DH holds DS backwards over bath( holding head)
I am armed and ready with water and shampoo
Rinse and scrub as quickly as possible
DS doesn't scream too much as he is not getting water in his eyes
then finish, dry and release DS 2

...also becasue of an ear problem wth him we only wash his hair once a week.

samwifewithkid · 12/07/2004 02:50

I just tell my dd (2) that if she puts her head back then the water won't run in her eyes. If she puts her head forward then she gets water in her face. (if she does put her head forward, she gets it tipped straight over the top of her head)I keep repeating it during the hair washing process. She begrudginly and crying will put her head back, so I do it as quickly as I can. This must be a stage they all go through at this age cos it seems quite common.

The only slightly distressing (but funny) consequence to this is she now shouts "HEAD BACK" to her bath duck or any other toy that happens to come into contact with water

sibble · 12/07/2004 05:10

swimming goggles and standing behind DS and having him try to look right back to see me. If that fails I am the wicked mother and just tips the water over his head!!

Wallace · 12/07/2004 12:33

We have this problem with both dd (3) and ds (5). The dry flannel over the eyes idea is a good one. We also spot imaginary spiders on the ceiling..each one becomes bigger and more colourful " Ooooh. I'm sure I saw a huge blue and yellow stripy one... Oh yes! There it is - I saw a leg coming out from behind the light.." etc

We only wash hair once a week, so hair usually gets washed in the showers at the pool after our weekly swim. Lots of spiders on that ceiling too

discordia · 12/07/2004 12:37

Most toddlers don't really need their hair washed very often. They don't get greasy hair like an adult. Unless she gets food or other mess in her hair, I wouldn't bother. My dd hated hairwashing too and I only ever did it in an emergency. Then when she was 5 she decided she wanted to grow her hair and I told her only if she had it washed once a week. Which she does. Keep hair fairly short and clean with a wet flanned if necessary. Encourage lots of splashing! No point causing trauma.

Twinkie · 12/07/2004 12:40

WE have never had any problem with DD going in the water or the water going in her eyes as we started to shower her at about 4 months and she got used to the water going everywhere - so good tip for prospective parents get them used to the shower early!!

As for your problem now I would just wash her hair and ignore the noise and fuss to be honest - I pander to things with DD that aren't necessary but to me washing their hair is!! - God I sound like a right meany don't I!!

Gingerbear · 12/07/2004 12:45

soupy, thats what I do too. [evil grin smilie] If you wash it very quickly and don't make a fuss I find she gets over it quicker than if you tried to cajole her.
I also have started to use leave-in conditioner so that the rinsing trauma isn't repeated.

sponge · 12/07/2004 13:00

I stand behind dd and get her to look back until she can see me. She still gets a bit of cradle cap if we don't rinse properly so I do have to persevere even though she hates it. Always have a dry towel on hand to wipe up if it gets in her eyes.
We only wask her hair once a week too. In fact I was advised that you shouldn't wash it any more than this once they're at school or nursery as too clean hair increases your chances of nits.

slug · 12/07/2004 14:08

We practise our swimming in the bath, especially backstroke

Original poster

strangerthanfiction · 12/07/2004 14:54

Thanks all, some useful advice here all of which I'll try and if it doesn't work I'll revert to the pouring water over her head while she screams! She's got quite a mop of fine hair and it does get to look greasy fairly quickly, especially as she adds her own conditioners - i.e. butter, yoghurt, milk, to it during the day .

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maomao · 12/07/2004 16:29

We have either a special bath book, or a special toy that makes its special appearance at hair washing time. I'll hold up the toy/book so that dd looks up, and use a container of water to rinse her hair (so I can better control where the water flows). There are times, however, that in my absentmindedness, I forget to bring said toy/book, in which case I will tip her back and tell her to splash about with her legs while I rinse her hair....

BigBird · 12/07/2004 16:38

dd is 2.5 and often has hair washing tantrums too. Recently we have started lining up the frogs and ducks and she shouts 'head back' and I tip them back and she pours water over them. Once they are all done I shout 'head back' and she tips her head back and I pour the water over her hair, keeping my hand at her forehead like a barrier. It usually works.

I'm amazed at all the kids who will go in the shower....DD will scream if we try to get her in there, or use the shower hose on the bath. She wont even get in the shower after the pool - any tips for getting used to the shower ?

alison222 · 12/07/2004 17:55

Don't try to wash hair in the shower at first, just try putting it on gently with warm water and "tickling" their tummies/back/ whatever and make a game of it. Just do it for very short periods of time and then progress to washing in the shower and then hairwashing. It may take a week or two though.
I must add that it was a nightmare to wash DS's hair until we got this sussed, as he used to try climbing out of the bath the second his hair got wet, and literlaly screamed until he was sick in the bath and we had to take him out.

Wallace · 13/07/2004 00:37

BigBrd - In the shower my two love to use that really foamy shower gel thingy (sorry can't remember what it is called). She might like that.

Original poster

strangerthanfiction · 13/07/2004 00:48

Well, dd seems totally terrified at the very idea of the shower, so that one's not going to work! We didn't put it anywhere near her but just the sight and sound of the water coming out was enough to freak her out!

OP posts:

florenceuk · 13/07/2004 12:51

Have you tried attaching a shower attachment to the bath taps? DS loves using the shower in the bath (we have hand-held one), and I let him play with it after I've rinsed him off (can be a bit messy sometimes, we have a shower screen). But he has been going in a shower since he was 3mths old. How about going swimming and then going in the shower post-swim? This is what worked for my niece and nephew.

Original poster

strangerthanfiction · 13/07/2004 15:32

Thanks florenceuk, will try that. I've also got a little watering can that she likes to play with in the bath and I wondered about filling that up with water and rinsing her hair with that. Have to attempt a hairwash tonight, can postpone it no longer!

OP posts:

Pes · 13/07/2004 15:57

I was recently told (by a hairdresser) that young children's hair shouldn't be washed with soap - something to do with the ph.
So have been washing ds's hair daily in the bath, but just with water. The condition of his hair has really improved, and no probs with soap in eyes.
Is this wrong??

Original poster

strangerthanfiction · 14/07/2004 00:00

Pes, I've wondered about this too but dd's hair really does get greasy if I don't shampoo it at LEAST once a week. It needs twice a week really but I can get away with once. But then maybe if you just rinsed it with water every single day it would be ok. Also I guess it depends on the age and hair length / quality of the child. When dd didn't have much hair I only ever rinsed it with water, now she also gets all sorts of unspeakables in it which I can't help but feel need washing properly.

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