Please help 8 year old bad behaviour at school

[mrsdaz]

My 8 year old child is behaving so poorly at school. Teacher will ask him to do something and he says 'I don't want to' and refuses. Rarely completes work, constantly in trouble for being rude due to refusal. Causing disruption in class by throwing pencils etc. I know it's attention seeking and I'm trying so hard at home with positive praise and rewards, consequences and punishments etc but nothing works for more than 1 day. He is oblivious to his actions and will say he's had a great day, teacher is lying etc.

I know it's him, and I'm trying my hardest to support the school but I'm at the end of the line in knowing what to do.

I've tried being soft, bribing with new toys, time together etc.

I've tried being hard and putting straight to bed from school etc.

We have charts and talk a lot, but he is dishonest.

I've had so many comments about 'bad parenting' etc that I feel I'm drowning!!

I'm losing the will....please help!!

You and teacher need to be working together and using same strategies. Meet with teacher, preferably without the child initially. Come up with a clear framework of expectations, rewards and sanctions. No knee jerk reactions just if you do this then this will happen....if you get x number of stars then the reward will be.... rewards should be more frequent than sanctions and should be about receiving a privilege rather than a present. Catch him being good.
Have a daily meet with teacher to ascertain how he's been and to show you are working together.