20 month old aggression

[Keepinitreal3]

My 20

Sorry sent that too soon.
As my title on the op says I'm having some real trouble with my 20 month old dd.
She's always been a good sleeper eater and there are no particular issues at home just a typical manic household with toddler and two working parents.
She doesn't attend nursery childcare is provided between me my mum and mil.
Recent she has really been aggressive to other kids at playgroup or on play dates. Grabbing clothes, snatching sweets hitting and pushing.
Last week I was at my friends house, friends dd tried to sit on my knee, my dd pulled her top and hit her. The other mums looked in horror and I made my excuses and left.
When she has behaved aggressively I say a stern no and remove her for a little bit. This doesn't seem like to stop her and I follow her so closely to make sure she doesn't get the opportunity to hurt another child.
I'm sure my friend is avoiding me after last week and I don't blame her I wouldn't like my Dd being hit by someone else.
I'm just so upset by all this and can't understand where I've gone wrong. She's so affectionate at home towards DH and I. I'm wondering if anyone could suggest any better strategies for dealing with this behaviour. I'm terrified she will end up being labelled as naught/difficult/aggressive and other mums won't want their kids to play with her. She is honestly a lovely child even with animals, the aggression always seems to be at other kids. Perhaps I'm reading too much into things but all the other tots seem to play nicely together and I feel like it's always her being rough 😢
Thanks if anyone can help.

Is there anyone who can advise me? Play group again today and no hitting but she grabbed and pulled a little boy by his jacket and tried to pull another girls hair but I managed 2 intervene? Grandparents are saying it's just a stage but I feel like I need to take some action I don't want to ignore this.
I'm finding this behaviour a real struggle 😥 does anyone have any wise words or recommendations?

Thanks

It's a stage don't worry. One of mine went through a hair pulling stage so I had to shadow him the whole time we were out. He's four now and wouldn't dream of pulling another child's hair (except his brothers). Keep doing what you're doing. My two year old is going through a biting stage (only his siblings luckily) but I tell him no and put him in his buggy to calm down and then he says sorry. It's hard work but it really is a phase. its fairly typical toddler behaviour and your friend should be more understanding.

Hi Della thanks so much for replying.
We have just got back from a weeks holiday and there hasn't been much improvement, grabbing snatching and hitting round the pool.
It's strange and she's so affectionate to adults.
I'm going to try and get to more playgroups and see if this help.
Your right it's a very difficult age and hard work! I really hope like your ds this passes!

It will pass, I promise! It might last quite a few months though and then one day it will occur to you that she's not hit anyone in a long time. Pre empt (more likely to hit if tired or hungry), follow and intervene (kind hands, no hitting, remove etc).
You're doing the right things. They are very impulsive at this age and can't explain their frustrations. Try to not worry.

My ds is just 20 months old and and is starting to get quite physical - mostly with his big sister, but recently he's started pushing other children at the park if they are in his way. It's a shock as dd didn't go through this stage. She was a gentle little thing and was more likely to be the victim of other toddlers' aggression. I haven't parented them any differently, so I can only assume this is due to a difference in temperament.

I am dealing with it with a firm 'no' and swiftly removing him from the situation. I don't think he has enough understanding to grasp any more long-term consequences. I tell him 'no hitting, it hurts', which I think he understands, and he knows that I am unhappy with his behaviour. I'm not sure what else can be done. Hopefully this is a phase which will pass soon!

Hi
did it improve in the end ?