Violence - when did it become so acceptable?!

[user1497960664]

Hi I'm new so sorry if I post on the wrong place  our DD is about to start Nursery and for want of a better phrase is already being targeted by a violent evil child. I can't believe all these posts about ongoing violence - it makes me really sad and angry that the schools are turning a blind eye. I'm already losing sleep about this little horror attacking my child  I'm angry that's she's just targeting my DD when my DD is the most gentle and kind little girl ever! This child throws smacks picks things up to hit my DD with. What can I do? She hasn't even started yet. These things have been happening at stay and play and at parent child induction meets. The mother completely ignores her horrible behaviour!!! I'm going to lose it if it happens again. Please help!!!

Firstly no small child is evil. They clearly either have a specific issue, aren't being parented properly, or are just having a bad day.

Secondly, I don't understand your situation. Your child is at a nursery, but the parents are also there? Are there nursery staff present and if so, what did they do? Did you speak to the mother?

If it becomes apparent that another child is behaving badly and no other adult is intervening then it's up to you to protect your child. So the first thing I would do is close supervision of my child, get myself physically between them and the other child. Intervene if the other child moves to hit or throw, stop them gently and say "no" firmly but kindly. If it continues then move you and your child away, and tell the nursery staff why. If the child follows you and continues to target your child, pick your child up and speak to the nursery staff again and ask them what they would like you to do given that the other child is continuing to target your child.

Tbh, if the nursery staff aren't getting involved in this I'd be concerned about whether the nursery was good enough.

Thank you for your advice. DD is starting Nursery in September and they are offering meetings once a week for parents and children to attend in the Nursery setting to get to know one another. I bought it to the NN attention as it wasn't the first time this clearly troubled child had attacked my daughter. They had also noticed and suggested role play next week. I'm keeping an open mind but if the mother is ignoring the child's behaviour and not reprimanding her I fear it may be a wasted exercise. If it happens again then we will involve the head teacher. No one wants this to happen to their child, especially not someone who was targeted by a particularly nasty bully during her own childhood :(

What did the staff actually do there and then though? Nothing? I would ask them for a copy of their policy on behaviour management and ask them what their procedures are.

Are you having weekly sessions with parents in attendance from now until September? That seems like a lot of sessions with the parents present. What's their reasoning for this? Is it a private day nursery or a pre-school?

I will ask thank you. I think they are providing sessions so that the parents can get to know one another. In theory it's a great idea as I'm new to the area aswell, but in practice being cooped up with a troubled child and her seemingly nonchalant mother - the prospect isn't half as appealing anymore!!! I couldn't relax the first week as I was just waiting for her child to attack mine and of course she didn't disappoint....

Hi OP. How many times has this child attacked your daughter? Has she left bruises/ marks? Is she singling your child out or is she also attacking other children?

How old are these children?

I would be very concerned about this if it provoked no reaction at all from the staff - is that really the case?

I would add that I don't think violence has become acceptable, at least not in my experience. There may seem to be a lot of posts about it on here because to some extent it is very normal toddler behaviour and people are usually posting on these boards for support with challenging behaviours in their children.

Thanks. They are dealing with it now. It was played down a lot. All they did was put an ice pack on my DD after the other child had hit her with a hard magnet. (The paddle ones) She also hit her in the face and constantly snatches things off her and pushes her over. Clearly she has issues but her mother completely ignores her and never reprimands her :( They are going to monitor it when they start nursery together - as joy of joys they're in the same class. I've never seen her do this to another child either.

Violence is never acceptable!