Help, my 3 year old refuses to leave the house ☹️

[BayLeaves]

My 3 year old has only left the house twice in the last 3 weeks or so. I've got a newborn baby and towards the end of the pregnancy I couldn't take him out anymore as I was so big and heavy. My husband had time off before the baby arrived and offered to take him out places but every time he refused to go, even to his favourite places. We didn't force him as we wanted to keep him happy.

However the baby is now 11 days old and my 3 year old is getting bored - it's been too hot for him to play in the garden and he's just been indoors nearly all day, every day, my husband said it's time to go for a walk to the park (literally 1 minute walk from our front door!) and he's absolutely refused. He won't say why he doesn't want to go to the park. He had a big tantrum and we find ourselves making horrible threats to take toys away etc if he doesn't co-operate, and it just leads to more tears. I don't want to "break" my child by always making threats, I prefer the whole "positive discipline" approach but it's just not working.

All he does is whine and say no to everything and it's really getting me down, I've got to the point now where I actually worry that I don't love him as much as my newborn baby I suppose that is a slightly separate issue. I don't know what to do

He's probably just being tricky because he's adapting to the new one being there - as I'm sure you are. To be honest it sounds like you're doing alright. I suppose not wanting to go out is an understandable reaction to feeling pushed out, which suggests he's quite an emotionally mature little thing. Please don't worry about him and don't worry that you don't love him enough.

In this horrid weather how about very very long cool baths for him?

I think there's probably an element of feeling usurped by the new baby, and wanting your attention and for things not to change. Hence wanting to stay at home and making a big fuss if you want to go out. It's a big change adjusting to a new sibling.

I would be very firm about it and take him out even if he's literally kicking and screaming and you have to carry him. Probably easier with your DH around to help. I'd take him to a favourite location, but don't make a big thing of it if he doesn't enjoy it or want to do anything when there. Just focus on getting out and about, and then repeat it regularly, so each weekend to start with for example.

11 days is still so very new, his little world will still feel upside down. We're you going to go to the park too, or just your dh and ds? It could be that he's missing you, I know I missed ds when dd was born (I realise it sounds silly but we'd had 19 months of just us two!).