Baby screams in car - should we use a dummy?

[ThePartyArtist]

My baby is 3 months old and screams every time we go in the car. We have tried everything - making sure he's not too hot, feeding before the drive, putting him in the car asleep, putting toys he likes nearby, me sitting in the back with him, music on, talking and singing to him, shushing him, pulling over to reassure him etc. He screams at high volume, red in the face, tears - it's so distressing and hard to concentrate on driving.

I don't think the seat straps are too tight for him but this did occur to me. I have the straps so tight that I can't pinch the fabric of them between my fingers. The strap is anchored just below the height of his shoulder. He screams in the car seat even when the straps aren't done up so I don't think it's that.

I am now considering giving him a dummy just in the car. Has anyone else tried this in the car only? We have been very firm that we don't want a dummy for him because of the addiction it can cause, so would we be asking for trouble if we used it in the car only?

Is there anything else we can do to try to make the car less stressful for him?

I was anti dummy until DC3 who was a car screamer, so we gave him a dummy to soothe him.

Yes, it was the first step on a slippery slope, and he ended up loving his dummy and not just having it in the car.

But with hindsight I'd do the same thing. The benefit of stopping the screaming in the car was worth having to wean him off it later on!

if I were you I'd try a dummy and see what happens, if he's not had one before it may take a while for him to get the hang of. Have someone sit next to him to pop it back in when it falls out.

I was told you should be able to put two fingers under the seat belt in the car seat.

Out of interest what car seat do you have?

We really really struggled with the car. It was awful until about 12 months!

Our lo didn't use a dummy and never understood how to suck one but I did offer it in the car and she would chew it a little. Very loud white noise helped, (ocean waves for us), as did downloading shows on a kindle. We hardly ever used the car

I'd offer a dummy, but at 3mo you may have missed the boat and he won't accept one. You may also need to try a few different brands. A dummy isn't so hard to get rid of, and I found it possible to restrict it to certain circumstances.

As PP said it's worth offering but you may find LO won't take to it after 3 months. Give it a go. Honestly, there are a lot of very anti-dummy moms but sucking is a huge comfort to babies. The time to worry is not until they're older and by then you may find you've been able to restrict them. My DS used to have his dummy almost all of the time when he was tiny.
Since 6months though I've been able to just give it to him at nap times and bed time (he drops it out when he's fallen to sleep anyway)
Give it a go if that's what you'd like to do! You're mom and you do what you think your LO needs and what is best. If LO won't accept the dummy then I second the white noise suggestion! Magical!

My ds cried on the nursery run each time (2hrs a day in the car, as a 30min journey). It was simply maddening - I used a dummy. I didn't need to with older dd, but used one from 8 weeks to 5 months with ds. It wasn't a slippery slope, and no need to wean him off, but perhaps I was just lucky on that one. My ds had nasty reflux tho, and I think that caused him pain crunched up in a car seat.

I'd try the dummy, and unfortunately I think it might be a case of sitting it out. I also gave ds a comforter that smelt of me in the car, used a back seat mirror so he could see himself and tried my best to coincide car journeys with naptimes so eventually, months later, he slept rather than howled during these :) It's tough tho, and I have huge empathy for you on this xx