Starting to dislike my 2 year old

[poppoppop]

This is a hard thread to write and not one I have taken lightly.

I am getting to the point with my two year old and his behaviour that I am starting to really dislike him and resent him.

He bites, screams, slaps and pinches if he doesn't get his own way.

It's starting to get to the point that we can't do anything in public as he is just too much to handle.

It's causing problems between me and my OH as it's stressing us both out. It doesn't help that my 2 year old is obsessed with my OH and every time he leaves the room or goes to work we have a melt down.

I don't know what to do with him. I'm at my wits end.

Hi OP, sorry to hear you are having such a tough time. My DS went through a hitting phase when he was two and I found it so stressful.

What have you tried so far in terms of discipline - have you tried reward charts or the naughty step or similar? I think it depends partly how old your toddler is - if he's just turned two he might still be a bit young to understand the 'cause and effect' nature of these methods, but as he gets nearer to three they become much more effective.

If he misbehaves while you're out, I would take him home (after ONE warning). This was the only thing that worked for my DS!

Hang in there. My DS is now a really well behaved 7yo. I honestly never thought I'd be writing that sentence!

Darkflood thank you for replying.

It's really hard work and I'm not even sure the best approach to discipline as he doesn't seem to understand. He is 2.4 and so probably a bit young for reward charts etc.

From what i understand he isn't like this at nursery but perhaps they don't have to do the mundane tasks in life that he objects to.

But the main problem is my OH. He cannot handle these tantrums at all and loses his cool every time. For example he was carrying him out of a supermarket today and ds hit OH in the face. OH repeatedly said stop it / don't do it etc. But ds didn't and continued and so in the end OH put him down and just walked off and left him. DS is a runner and so this was really dangerous in a car park. I managed to calm him down and told him he needed to say sorry but this then just caused us to row in the car.

I'm really at my wits end.

Ok, obviously your partner's actions were unacceptable. He needs to find more strategies to deal with toddler tantrums. Would he consider reading a parenting book to pick up tips? I've heard good reviews of The Explosive Child (although I haven't read it myself).

Ok this is what your OH should have done: gently but firmly taken hold of your ds' hands after the first slap, told him off firmly once and then started talking about something else whilst still holding his hands. Just saying "stop it" to a tantrumming 2yo and expect him to comply is, quite frankly, a bit wet.

It is a hard phase, but very very common. It will pass. But it will pass more quickly if your OH can manage to fake the calm and no-nonsense manner of trained childcare staff. Fake it till you make it is definitely the way to go here.

My family have been epic tantrummers. But we are all quite civilised and law-abiding adults.