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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

no smiles at 3 months, why?

23 replies

auntiflo · 18/03/2007 23:46

I have 4 children of my own and 3 nieces/nephews already, youngest of all, bar this little one is 5. My new nephew is 3 months old and I can't help worrying about him. He's not yet smiling or doing anything in fact, he does hear and see but is very expressionless, tongue forever hanging out(making him look vaguely gormless!!) What's going on, why no smiles, giggles or anything? Please reasure with loads of plausable explanations.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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margo1974 · 18/03/2007 23:49

I have to work VERY hard to get my dd2 to smile, maybe he's not a smiley baby

my dd1 is 3 months too

JodieG1 · 18/03/2007 23:53

Maybe he smiles at home for his parents? Maybe smiles are being mistaken for wind?

twentypence · 19/03/2007 00:44

Was he born at term? Are his parents smiley people? How is his feeding?

wannaBeWhateverIWannaBe · 19/03/2007 06:51

has his mum said anything - is she concerned do you think?

If you're not with him all the time then you're only getting a snapshot of how he really is, and things may be different at other times of the day.

but if his parents say he's not smiling/giggling/intereacting at all I would suggest they see their gp/hv for some reassurance. It could be nothing, but if there is any reason for concern then the sooner this is picked up the sooner the parents, and ultimately the child, can get the support they need.

Original poster

auntiflo · 19/03/2007 09:09

The parents, who spend all their time cooing and smiling at babe, say he's not doing anything at all but don't appear worried and I obviously don't want to worry them. I have spent alot of time withem, staying with them for several days at a time so am not just getting snapshots.
They're already really fed up with competitive mums taliking about their own super smart babies of the same age though but do seem very relaxed about his lack of responsiveness.
He's bfing very well and is a very round baby! And was born at full term.
Thanks for your responses, would love to hear more...

OP posts:

Smithagain · 19/03/2007 11:41

Honestly? I'd be a little bit concerned as well. Not that I am any expert, but neither of my children were smiling at their 6 week checks and the GP said they started to be concerned about lack of a social smile at about 8 weeks. On that basis, I agree that 3 months does seem a little late.

Are they seeing a HV or GP at all?

mm22bys · 19/03/2007 12:06

This is my experience:

DS2 was not smiling at 3 months, so took him to HV, who recommended he see a GP. GP got very little response so he was referred to a neurologist and an opthalmologist.

They did find a VI, but neurologically he is fine.

He is now 4 months and is smiling a lot more. Still no idea how much he can see though, hoping to get referral to Moorfields very soon.

DS1 was also a late smiler, but his vision is normal, ands now he can't stop smiling (he's 2.10).

Not sure what you can do though, if the prents of this baby aren't concerned. It all may be fine, but if you have to ask if something is wrong, maybe he should be looked at....

All best

Original poster

auntiflo · 19/03/2007 13:37

thanks again for replying.
MM22bys, whats a VI? Visual impairment I'm guessing..
What age would a child wear glasses from? My dd2 was 4 when she got hers, but problem was not picked up till then.
His parents do wear glasses so it could be a possibility...

OP posts:

bigcar · 19/03/2007 13:45

My dd3 got her glasses at 7 months, shes very short sighted amongst other things. It never stopped her from smiling though.

DaisyMOO · 19/03/2007 13:50

My baby was given glasses at 4 months old, not that we could ever get her to keep them on

Original poster

auntiflo · 19/03/2007 14:11

Bigcar and Daisy, what ages did your babies smile and giggle from, or show any expression?

OP posts:

bigcar · 19/03/2007 14:23

Dd3 was smiling at 3 weeks, although she was 3 weeks late. She doesnt giggle lots though, but always plenty of smiles, especially now she can see us well. Tbh we didnt know she had problems with her eyes until she had her squint checked at 3 months. Looking back, when she was tiny, she did look at our foreheads not making eye contact, although she does now, we think that was down to her poor sight.

DaisyMOO · 19/03/2007 14:30

I'm afraid my experience probably isn't terribly relevant to the non-smiling as my dd's eye condition devloped after birth and she has normal vision in one eye. I was really just commenting on the age at which some babies have glasses

FWIW I would be quite concerned by a baby who's not smiling by 3 months - it doesn't mean there is a problem but would warrant investigation IMHO.

divorcee · 19/03/2007 15:18

Does he have good head control and take any interest in his surroundings? Turn his head to noise or light? Put his hands to his mouth or study them? If these things are missing too, there could be more going on

I would be very concerned that a 3 month old isn't smiling. Not to cause concern but he really should be checked for sight, hearing and physical problems

Original poster

auntiflo · 19/03/2007 15:54

He has pretty good head control, appears to recognise his parents voices and is startled by loud noises. He shows little interest in surroundings, does appear to see us and things but appears disinterested. His tongue is permanently showing between his lips, not moving, just there - bit like a baby with Downs.

OP posts:

Cappuccino · 19/03/2007 15:57

did he find breastfeeding hard in the beginning?

Original poster

auntiflo · 19/03/2007 16:02

cappuccino, yes he did but it is her first... mastered it now, he's enormous!

OP posts:

gracej · 19/03/2007 16:53

To be honest, I would be concerned. I have a child with development delay. And I was worried at 3 months already although the problem was not clearly obvious.
I don't know your family, but in my case, as a fist time mum, I would have been very greatful if someone would have been honest with me at the time and told me that there might be a problem. All I got was the typical, "don't worry, they are all different".
If there is a problem, then the sooner they start treating it the better. If there is no problem then bonus.

Original poster

auntiflo · 19/03/2007 16:58

gracej, thanks so much for your answer. I've been thinking and hoping this is 'just' an eyesight prob. I'm staying with them at Easter so will reasses and speak up if necessary.
thanks for all your answers. any more pearls of wisdom or plain boring thoughts, I'll receive them gratefully!

OP posts:

Cappuccino · 19/03/2007 17:12

agree with grace - reason I was asking is that a lot of children with feeding problems have difficulties eg cerebral palsy

my little girl has cp which was diagnosed at 11 months - I was worried at 3 months as well. but it wouldn't have made much difference in terms of her treatment as this was still an early diagnosis. My hv said that there were some concerns but with very young children they tend to wait a bit to see if there is an improvement, which there often is, before ringing alarm bells

if the child's limbs seem overly stiff or overly floppy that would be a concern

but we only have our own children to go on for experience so it's difficult to give any real opinion

the number of people who told me not to worry, their children did nothing till they were 1 etc etc

can't reassure you sorry, but can say that they (and you!) should just enjoy your little nephew

if there's no improvement in a few months then start stepping up the concern

Original poster

auntiflo · 19/03/2007 17:24

thanks capp, I agree about chilling and enjoying him. I'm being reasured that there's not much that could be done at the moment so no need to ring the alarm bells. I've worked myself up into a concerned stew but am now telling myself that it's just his eyes that we can sort out soon. Wont speak up yet tho, would hate to cause unnecessary worry. Wish he'd keep his tongue in his mouth tho!!

OP posts:

Brogers66 · 28/04/2020 07:43

Did your nephew ever get diagnosed with anything?

Gobbycop · 29/04/2020 11:05

Wow a 13 year old thread resurrection.

Hopefully he's doing well, in high school.

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